For the Guy with kids and a WW5

[hopeful4her]

Puppy, I believe that she has asked God for forgiveness, but I don't think she understands that just because you repent and ask for forgiveness, doesn't mean you can keep doing what you are doing. She has NOT asked me for forgiveness.

It won't be true forgiveness until she asks for it.

Hi, tal. Funny, I had always felt like I had do idea what I had done to deserve HER. I also felt like she deserved so much more than me. I never told her this, because I thought she might come to her senses and figure it out.

OMG, just as I'm writing, and feeling like a di** thinking how she never initiates an email or text or simple phone call, she responds to my email from yesterday!

My original email:

My Italian word for the day.

Didn't like the last joke, huh? Ok, no joke today. I thought for sure it might get a chuckle. I'll think of a better one for another day.

Firestone closes late today, so I can wait until I get off of work to pick up the Rodeo. I'll get the tire fixed and then take it back to you when they finish. Should be before you get off. Let me know if that's cool with you.

Hope you liked the brisket y me tacitos today. Secret ingredient this time. B E E R.

Alrighty then. Have a GREAT day and I'll call before I head out.

She just responded:

Hey you, just got a moment to breath, its been busy today. Just wanting to say Hello, I'm going to make some payments after work today by the Rim and stop at Walmart for Amanda, I think we already need a few things from the store too, like lettuce, ceasar salad dressing, meat, cheese,hot fritos, can you think of anything else?

I started to tear up.
And BTW, the hot fritos would be for me.

I'll probably respond with:

Hey you. Thanks for the email. I can't really think of anything except maybe some more fruit.

I don't know, maybe some more POWDERED DONUTS. We can hide them this time

Should we save the Spectrum for tomorrow? I think it will be a little to late for me to take them tonight. I won't be out until a little after 6.


I just can't believe the sitch that I'm in.

[hopeful4her]

Roomie just responded to my response:

I think so, I'm still here with a member opening a trust account. Call the kids, machine came on and no one answered

Wow. Not sure what part of this morning got her going again. Maybe it is just the conversation. Just talking. Not that she is changing her mind about leaving. I have no choice but to try to see the bright side of it.

I do think she is cooling things off with OM. I will keep praying.

[kat727]

Ummm, are you the same person that told me to embrace the situation, that I didn't deserve to be treated this way???? She won't appreciate what she has until it is gone. You are always doing all of these kind things, always joking but hon, she doesn't get it. You are treating her like you always have, so she doesn't feel any consequences for her actions. You are going to have to reach really deep inside and stop what you have been doing.

You are just hurting yourself. So you have a month. Step back and let her get a taste of what it would be like. Use this month to work on you. I am saying that you can be polite and business as usual. Don't do anything extra for her. Please try this and see if you notice a change.

kat

[hopeful4her]

kat, thanks. Yup, same guy.

I am just a foolish man. I hate to see others in pain and try to help them through by giving uplifting words.

Especially when it's someone as nice as you, and at the very last step in the process. It's hard to see hope in your sitch. I keep seeing hope in mine. Although, I realize that I may only be seeing what I WANT to see.

It's easy to give advice but hard for me to take my own. I hope that I have not offended you with what I have told you. That was not my intention.

In my small mind, going a bit dark(polite and business like), like you suggest, seems to only quicken the process that she has started anyway. I believe that EITHER way I act towards her, she is going to move out.

So why not let her seeing the best of me, be the last thing that remembers and sees?

When she goes, I will have no choice to embrace it. At least try to. I'll hopefully be able to think more clearly, get out and do things with friends more. I keep turning down invitations to go out and do things. Especially on weekends. If I go out, then she feels like she'll do the same. The last time I went out and tore it up(which felt great btw)she went out and ended up renting a hotel room the next night. It drives me nuts.

That thinking will stop, I think, when she is gone. I hope it is easier to not think about what they are doing when you are seperated. When they are in the same bed, IMPOSSIBLE.

For example, yesterday I was invited to dinner and drinks tonight by a good friend. She has been texting me and calling every so often. She does the same thing I do. It is not "B". Her name is "D". "D" is in same line of business as I am. We've had lunch and hung out together at a recent festival we had in our little town earlier this year. She is trying to D her H for years. I've known them both for years. He is an a**, and doesn't deserve her, but then again, she ain't no w. I did a favor for one of her friends and she invited us both out. I turned it down to do something family tonight. Circus in town.

[kat727]

No you didn't offend me. I am holding on to a small shred of hope, not so much that the D won't happen but that he will realize that it didn't solve any of his problems. Maybe he will realize how good he had it(?).

Thanks for thinking I am nice. I basically am, and even when I thought I said something in anger, I reread it and it still sounds nice. Go figure.

kat

[hopeful4her]

Roomie called me on the way home last night. Still at work. Still with same client. It was a little after 7. She was finishing up opening a trust account. Big bucks. Two little old ladies. She made some new friends. Even got a referal for doctor for her. She still wanted to go to wallymart after work and she would call me when headed home. I told her I picked some pizza for dinner, so no worries about cooking for either of us.

At home, playing with kiddo's. Aunt for Laredo calls me. She needs help with her fathers will. He is the great grandfather who just passed away. We spoke for an hour and a half. We talked about roomie. Our marriage. She doesn't understand, so on and so forth. She our uncle are praying for me. I told her roomie is planning on moving. She is surprised. She has spoken to roomie before and couldn't understand her reasoning. I told her it is probably OM. She said roomie mentioned a "friend".

Roomie called while I was on the phone. At about 9pm. Still at wallymart and getting a lot more groceries than she thought. Never got to go anywhere else. Didn't leave work until 7:45. Could I think of anything else. We talk for a little bit. Laugh a little. She's checking out and will be home. I tell aunt, and she is suspicious. We get off phone and roomie shows up around 10:15. We put away stuff.

In girls room, D6 mentions that mommy said something about the circus starting for today and going. I look at roomie and she mentions it starting, never been, only $10 buck a person. I say not a bad price considering it will only be the 4 of us.

Roomie looks at me and starts to laugh. I look at her trying to figure out the joke. She still looks at me and laughs again because I can't figure it out.

I say, "Whats so funny?"
"Thats funny."
"What?!"
"The four of us."
"Huh?"
"Your inviting yourself?" she laughs.
"I'm sorry."
"I'm just kidding." she says laughing again.

I remain sitting with her on the bed for a minute. She is talking to the girls. I leave and go to wash some dishes.

I missd the funniness of the joke. I can't believe she thought that was funny. I am at the sink and she brings me the advertisement of the circus in the paper. I look briefly and continue what I am doing. She is smiling at me.

"I was just kidding, silly. It was a joke."

"Very funny." I say sarcastically. She laughs and pushes me.

We sit to watch a movie with S14. "Be kind, Rewind". Silly movie that did make me laugh. But roomie and I fell asleep on the sofa together again. Same positions as last time.

Very nice evening. Her joking and all. She always surprises me, somehow.

Up this morning and she is in the bathroom first. I make the bed. She leaves door open a bit while going potty. A sign of comfort with me.

She goes to iron and I take a quick shower. I leave the door open. Maybe she might walk in on me, but doesn't.

Uh oh. She is emailing me again.

Ok, I had called her on the way to work, but she didn't answer. Her ringer was still off from work. Her not answering was ok with me, because it also told me that at least she was not on the phone with anybody. Like OM. She would have know someone was calling her and answered me.

We left together this morning, but I had to leave a friend of nephew on my way. This morning I had made us lunches and some snacks for work.

She asked:

Hey you, did you call me this morning? Whats up?

I emailed back:

Yup.

I was just seeing if you had broken into the donuts while on your way to work. I did

Was also going to tell you that I just left Devin off at Dairy Queen. Practically made him jump out

Like, go on, git! It was just funny.

This is the most contact we have had in weeks. She has been responding. Even initiating casual contact with me.

Am I doing something right?

[hopeful4her]

No you didn't offend me. I am holding on to a small shred of hope, not so much that the D won't happen but that he will realize that it didn't solve any of his problems. Maybe he will realize how good he had it(?).

Thanks for thinking I am nice. I basically am, and even when I thought I said something in anger, I reread it and it still sounds nice. Go figure.

kat

That is a good hope to have. We can always have hope. I was just referring to the D day. It seem like that is a done deal. But anything can happen. Even after D.

Believe me, I am SURE they will BOTH realize how good they had it. And their problems WILL still be the same.

I think you and Karen are the same.

Meany challenged, like Gforce said

[Puppy Dog Tails]

H4H,

How far away is the Wal-Mart? More than three hours from "finishing up" at work (is 7:00 already late for her?) until she comes home?

Sorry, I'm with auntie. I'm suspicious too.

Puppy

[hopeful4her]

Roomie emailed again.

Two emails from her so far. She might be going for a record.

Here they are so far :


Hey you, did you call me this morning? Whats up?

I emailed back:

Yup.

I was just seeing if you had broken into the donuts while on your way to work. I did

Was also going to tell you that I just left Devin off at Dairy Queen. Practically made him jump out

Like, go on, git! It was just funny.

She responded with:

Hahahahahaha, I was wondering why you all weren't behind me
No haven't gotten into them yet, busy with members


I will send:


I was going to send a joke about a drunk guy who crawled home from a bar, but decided I'll tell it to you when I see you tonight. Not dirty. Just don't want to get you in trouble. Are you going to get the tickets? If you don't have time, let me know and I can get them.

Enjoy lunch, have a great day and let me know.


Ya'll wanna hear the joke?

A guy is at a bar getting stupid drunk. He decides to leave, gets up and falls flat on his face.

He says to himself,"Maybe I just need some fresh air", so he crawls outside, stands up and falls flat on his face again.

He decides to crawl home. In the morning, his wife finds him asleep on the steps to the house. She wakes him up and says:

"You went and got drunk at the bar again last night, didn't you?"
"How did you know?" he asks sleepily.
"You left your wheelchair at the bar again."

[hopeful4her]

H4H,

How far away is the Wal-Mart? More than three hours from "finishing up" at work (is 7:00 already late for her?) until she comes home?

Sorry, I'm with auntie. I'm suspicious too.

Puppy

Puppy, 7 is late. She called from her work phone. The drive through is open until that time. It was about 7:10 and we stayed on the phone until 7:15. She told me she was just waiting on a reciept for the client from the tellers. That was when she called me. She says she didn't actually drive out of parking lot until 7:45. The lady in the wheel chair need to go to the bathroom and roomie says she helped them.

Even if clients left at 7:20, roomie has to finish and secure paperwork and her office. Leave at about 7:30. Maybe.

That would put her at wallymart at 8pm. She purchased some sheets for D11, a comforter for D6 and lots of groceries. Her calling the house at about 9:15, getting ready to check out puts her in the right time frame. Maybe 20 minutes for check out and load vehicle and drive away and get home when she did. Roomie loves wallymart and looks like she did a lot of shopping and looking around. I know her well enough to know that.

From the wallymart she was at, approx 35 minute drive home.

Believe me, I check and time all that stuff. At the most, there might have been 20 minutes or so that could have been unacounted for.