Well... I am very bummed out about this, but unfortunately the job thing's not going to happen. H kept having doubts about his decision, and his current employer fought hard to keep him. They couldn't offer money, but they've been sending him a lot more work. Basically they are overstaffed and really need some of the mechanics to quit. What they WERE doing was trying to evenly distribute what little work they had. Of course what that leads to is their good mechanics finding other jobs, and then they're stuck with the not so great ones who couldn't find anything. H kept trying to tell them this but it wasn't getting through - until he shook them up by giving his notice.
Between that, and a lot of other factors that the managers there talked to him about (including a guy who came in from his leave with his newborn baby just to talk to H!), it really does make more sense for him to stay. There's more to it that neither of us had totally thought through. I won't get into all the boring details, but staying there truly does look like the better decision. The only reason to leave was lack of work - if they are fixing that problem, it honestly would not be smart for him to leave.
The positive in all this is he was talking about it being better both for him and "us" and "our" future. And I know he's right EXCEPT of course for the OW factor. He really does seem to be cutting ties there, though. I look forward to the day when I'm comfortable enough to talk to him about it/her (or at least, feeling secure enough to have the uncomfortable convo).
He called his (former) new boss as a friend to talk through his doubts (probably not the best person to talk with). He didn't "unaccept" the job, just wanted to talk it through, but then the friend kinda freaked out and offered the job to someone else, then called H back to tell H he was 'off the hook.' Ugh.
The whole convo was interesting. A lot about how he wanted to be "absolutely sure before leaving." Hard NOT to relate that to our sitch even though I know it's a whole different thing. It was a deeper conversation and he shared more with me than he has in literally years (other than the bombs), so that was very good.
He was feeling relieved about the job choice but afraid he'd lost a friend - then friend called just as we were leaving to grab some pizza, and they smoothed everything over. I told him I admire how good he is at those tough conversations (with everyone but me unfortunately but we're working on it!). At the pizza place he talked about more family and emotional type stuff, like seeing a new side of his Dad last weekend at the races. All in all very good in terms of us getting closer, more open, etc.
And I still like OT's ideas - obviously some don't apply anymore, but I still plan to try out #s 2, 4, and 6.
Me 35, H 38; Together 13.5 yrs, M 7 Bomb 1 10/07/06 Sep'd 1/14/07 - 4/15 Piecing: 4/07 - 9/07 Bomb 3 10/11/07: Never loved you, let's separate 2/08 slowly improving 7/08 Piecing (7/25/08 rings back on!!) Current thread
