2008 = Crazy Year (Still)

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Mon morning update:A couple things from last evening.

First, WW asks if I have been on her laptop because some software had been installed. My reply - no - and I hadn't. I said I didn't even know the password. Ww says that I can easily get around a password. Gee thanks for the vote of confidence!

Then later I am heading to bed. Just about crawl in (yes same bed as WW) and she starts this:

WW - I can't believe you are sleeping in the same bed as me.

Me - well this is where I sleep.

WW - well I don't have to.

Me - no you don't.

WW - (still in bed) are you in f***ing denial? We are getting D.

Me - I heard you say that.

WW - do you have a plan?

Me - for what? I plan to go to sleep.

WW - do you have a plan for us?

Me - not really, maybe I should think of one.

Ww - and let me know please.

That's it - kept my calm I think. Nice end to the long weekend. I believe WW has appnt with L today. Suppose I should make one as well, just to be prepped.

Kept your calm you THINK??? My friend, that is slam-dunk, knock-it-outta-the-park, blue-chip DBing right there, buddy. A+!!!

[Puppy Dog Tails]

btw, my wife kept INSISTING that I had tapped the phone, because I knew that she had been calling jewelry stores, trying to pawn some of her rings. I calmly explained to her that ANYONE who has Comcast Digital Voice can simply go online, log in, and get all incoming, dialed and voice-mail calls, but she stuck with the "phone tap" paranoia.

btw #2: paranoia ain't all bad. It can send a real tizzy thru the enchanted couple, and "tizzy" doesn't make for good sex.

Puppy

[hopeful4her]

lis, that was a cool reaction. If roomie had asked me if I had a plan for us, I might have said something like, "Yeah, to try to keep this family together" or something dumb like that.

You da man.

[lost_in_space]

Thanks Pup and H4H.

H4H, the thought was there to respond as you did but I held back. Don't think she wanted to hear that.

Had I been more on my toes, my response should have been "you know my plan. I am here and am not leaving. I have been consistent. What is your plan?" BUT I was too tired.

[Puppy Dog Tails]

That would have been excellent too, LIS. Trust me, you'll still have plenty of opportunities to deliver that one.

I was advised by someone far wiser and more experienced than I am -- NOP over on the old SSM board -- to, in fact, push it back on my wife and say, basically, "what are your intentions regarding this marriage?"

Not a bad play.

[Hope4us]

Just catching up LIS. Excellent work.

I can share some of the spew I got when I exposed.

W: Why would you tell her?
me: She deserved to know what was going on in her marriage.
W: Don't you think that should have been up to OM to tell her?
me: It's been going on for 9 months, when was he planning on telling her?
W: It's none of your business what goes on in their marriage.
me: It's my business what goes on in my marriage.
W: You just blew any chance we had at saving our marriage.
me: So if I don't say anything about you scr*wing OM, our marriage has a chance?
W: Not any more.
me: Ok.
W: What's that mean?
me: Just ok.
W: You're so controlling.
me: If I'm controlling because I have a problem with my wife sleeping with a married man, I can live with that.
W: This is no one else's business. Why would you tell her?
me: I can see why you wouldn't want anyone to know.
W: Whatever.
me: goodnight.


There was quite a bit more, but you get the jist. I added some things about the truth lacking around our house.

Just think "drug addict separated from her drug". In my experience it took longer than the 5 days Puppy related for the anger to go away. So don't hang on to that, but they DO get over the anger.

Nice Job.

[lost_in_space]

Thanks H4U. One comment you made above reminded me of another thing she said.

She said that me contacting OMW has made this all about the A. What about the 8 years before that when I wasn't happy? This was just about the 2 of us.

My response to that was no, this started as the 2 of us, but now involves the 9 of us (us and our 3 K's, them and their 2 K's).

She did NOT like that at all.

[lost_in_space]

Is that what is commonly referred to as a "truth dart" and if so was it "thrown" appropriately?

[Hope4us]

Oh yes, the ole, "our problems have nothing to do with OM". It's funny that there were never any problems mentioned before the affair, but now "I've been unhappy for years" and "I've never loved you", blah, blah, blah.

As Puppy would say, SCRIPT.

Next time she says OM has nothing to do with your problems, just reply "ok, then end all contact with him so we can work on BOTH of our issues without a third person in our marriage". When you say that you can expect another round of "OM has nothing to do with our problems". Just stick to your position that as long as there are three people in the marriage, YOUR PROBLEMS can not be addressed.

[Puppy Dog Tails]

She said that me contacting OMW has made this all about the A. What about the 8 years before that when I wasn't happy? This was just about the 2 of us.

My response to that was no, this started as the 2 of us, but now involves the 9 of us (us and our 3 K's, them and their 2 K's).

She did NOT like that at all.

Niiiiiiice. Nice truth dart, LIS. You're getting good at this very quickly.

Puppy