It took a long time to stop blaming all our problems on her. I was angry that she was not meeting my needs while the whole time I was not meeting hers. Its a two way street and once I stopped blaming her for my unhappiness and started to control my anger I could see things more clearly. I have taken responsibility for all my actions and inactions and that is the key.
I also read "How to improve your relationship without talking" and that gave me some great insites into my sitch.
Good luck with yours, it is a long journey but if all works out the rewards could be great for both of you.
