Where is the real me? What do I want?

[Purple]

I've been reading your thread and found a striking line, something I can totally relate to:

Put it this way, I would rather lose him than lose myself again.

It doesn't make a path ahead of you any easier, but it definitely makes it more clear.

How did the e-mailing go?

((((((Hug))))))

Haven't heard back from the email yet. Not surprised though. He doesn't sit on email the way I am able to at work. It was fairly long when I finished it. The poor guy. I used to send him reeeeeally long letters when I was at uni and also write loooong letters when I was upset with him. He would never acknowledge or talk to me about these letters. I think it irritated him that I couldn't just spit it out and would have to torture him by reading my ramblings that went all over the place.

I bought Divorce Remedy yesterday. Haven't started it yet becuase I am currently reading "Loving him without losing you" by Beverley Engel. I'm not sure the DR will be able to help me as I'm not wanting my h back unless we have both changed and even then, we might not be right for each other. I think I'm a WAW who started off as a LBS.

I did put that line

I would rather lose him than lose myself again.

into my email to h. I dunno if it was smart or dumb. Time will tell.