Hi, I'm new to the forum.

[The Wifey]

Last night I came home from class and my H was in our bed. He held me and said just love me and we ml. I fell asleep in his arms. I was so happy.

This morning he said that he is back at the house but still considers us separated. I am crushed, of course. I thought he was there because he'd decided he wanted to work on us. He said he's not at that point yet.

I started an email to him but decided that what I had in it I should say to his face.

This is what I wrote:

The subject line said this morning...

Ok..... I have to say it. I am crying uncle. It was no fair to just show up and not tell me you were going to be there when I came home from class. It was wrong for you to say just love me and to make love to me and then tell me in the morning that we are still separated. You knew what I thought; you knew I thought you were there because you wanted to be with me. I thought you'd decided to work on us.

But you aren't ready to even say you want to work on us.

I'm trying to understand how this is ok. How is this not me being a doormat, the weak little woman just waiting at home for any little scrap of affection?

No matter what I've done I deserve better. I am weak and not really sure of myself right now. But I know that I deserve to be loved. Not the I'll always love you, you know that, and the implied don't expect anything else. How dare you treat me like I don't matter? I have just enough self respect to pick myself up and tell you to stop this.

This is NOT just all about you. You are fooling yourself and trying to fool me if you honestly believe that. Don't waste my time. If you honestly can't find it in your heart move forward then say so.

Like I said I haven't sent this email. It may come down to hitting send because I might have a hard time saying these words. I want him back, but I can't have him break my heart every day.

I know this is a long road. Please let me know what you think and any suggestions. I don't feel particularly strong, but I do have my self respect to fight for.

He thinks things would be so great without me. We have had some positives and then this.