It's up to you if you continue contact. I think there will be a crash and burn moment for him when he's begging for you back. You need to think about the ACTIONS it would require from him to even consider it. Heck, you need to think about if you would even consider it.
SD
I agree!!! I think he will run through that money (with the help of OW) and when it runs out reality is going to slap him in the face, and I have a feeling that OW is not going to be a pleasant person to live with when they are broke either! He is going to be miserable & unhappy more & more as he realizes what he did! And I say, good!!! Karen
Yes I can see what is going to happen in the future very clearly. OW isn't me and she isn't going to be as patient or understanding as I am. When H was fired from his job last summer I was very understanding and told him that the money aspect wasn't as important to me as his feelings and we worked through that together (this was after we had been through counseling). That was a very good moment in our marriage actually. OW will yell and scream if he ever got fired from a job. After H had a sexual experience with a prostitute (why we went to counseling) and thought he had AIDS, I was the person who went to doctor's appointments with him, found information online to help ease his fears and told him that I would stick by him regardless of the outcome. OW will not be like that. H has issues that not very many people can't understand. They annoy most people, but they never bothered me. I had patience with him and worked with him. I know it is no longer my problem, but I do worry about him without my help. Maybe that is silly of me. But that is the truth.
I honestly would love H and I to at some point waaaaaay down the line be friends again. I like him as a person inspite of all he has done to me. Sometimes I think it would have been best for us if we were just friends and never got married. I still cherish the past 5 years and if I had my life to live over again, I would still want H to be a part of it. We did so many wonderful things together and he taught me more than anyone I have ever met. Feeling really sentimental tonight just looking over the past and remembering good times. There were so many of them that far outweigh the past 8 months. And those are what I want to remember about my marriage, not this awful stuff.
Me-31 H-38 M: 5 yrs T: 7 yrs No kids Went to Prostitutes 10-1-06 Found out about OW 12-24-07 Bomb on EA/PA: 1-2-08 OW ended it with H "for good" 3-8-08 OW is back 4-19-08 H and OW tell me that they are in love 5-19-08 Filed for divorce 6-5-08 Divorced 7-2-08
Hey Sara. Just wanted to say hi. I am keeping up with your posts. Your outlook is great, and I know the hurt is still so deep. I am thinking about you.
I feel like I have been through the worst experience of my life. Nothing has hurt or been more disturbing to me than all of this. Life can only get better from here. Didn't think I would be 31 and divorced, but I know that I am still pretty young and I have my life ahead of me.
Me-31 H-38 M: 5 yrs T: 7 yrs No kids Went to Prostitutes 10-1-06 Found out about OW 12-24-07 Bomb on EA/PA: 1-2-08 OW ended it with H "for good" 3-8-08 OW is back 4-19-08 H and OW tell me that they are in love 5-19-08 Filed for divorce 6-5-08 Divorced 7-2-08
Here in Kansas, at least according to my L, divorce is final once the court approves it. So could even be this week I guess. I just don't want to think about it. My thoughts are with you sweetie.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
I know I have not been around much.. but you still pop up in my mind from time to time. I read a bit.. I have a lot of catching up to do here.. but I just wanted to pop in for a second.
I was driving to work this morning.. and a song came on.. the first thing that popped into my mind.. was you.. and the walk you have had.
In reading your last post here.. I can see a tone change. You sound better. (I promise I will catch up). So good for you.
Hey Sara, my H signed yesterday too. Thirty days and it will be done. He said a lot of the same things your H did. We both deserve better. It is hard to accept, but we will get through this.
When your H is finally out of the house you will be able to relax. I sort of feel a sense of relief that I don't have to take care of H anymore. He is bad with money and was always dragging us down financially, that is where I feel my relief.
I think you sound strong honey, and so much different than when you first started posting. You have grown a lot.
It has to do with the perception of the listener.. and the singer.
It shows the change.. in her (Sara and Sugarland's) perception.
I harped on Sara early on about being a strong person. Even with all the pain. So to see it happen (To Sara).. makes me happy.
The difference in the tone of Sara's post's is dramatic.. and I gotta expect.. if it shows up here.. its there in Real Life.
I know it is tuff to listen to music when all this stuff is going on.. I had the same issue. But time changes things.. and I like to talk thru music.. since I can't do it in RL.
Relax Eat Think Act normal React.. Smartly. Do something different. Emulate. Do Work.
