My husband left to an undisclosed address (living with his girlfriend) three weeks after saying he wanted to live his own life, immediately filing for divorce. I was taken by surprise, though in hindsight, I'd been very anxious. That happened at the end of February of this year.
My state has a 'cooling off period' which is or has just come due. I told my lawyer and my husband that I'm not ready to be divorced. I don't know how much that matters but no one asked me how I felt about an expedited divorce. The two lawyers and my spouse were fine with it.
Everyone's separation is different. I found the online coaching very helpful. The emphasis went from getting rid of the negative for him to getting rid of the negative for me. I had to heal before I could do anything. It's still a process. Finding a great counselor and support of friends and family has been incredible. But my situation is getting to be old news. "Let it go." is the most common advice.
Perhaps he'll wake up, take responsibility for his actions. The one thing I'm learning is that I have to do the same... wake up from my own fog that's been going on for years and take responsibility for my life.
And I think.. that's how you get hope... for yourself.
