well I had to contact her today as our checking account is down to 17 dollers untill monday. I called and warned her not to use the check card untill monday. well she hit me over the head that as of 6 26 she desided that she was going to open her own account and not use that one any more anyway. I was going to sepperate the accounts anyway in july but i guess she had already desided to go this rout.
we chit chated a little and she asked about what was new in my life. I told her I was going to a police picnic and a friend of mine was coming down on wensday to visit. we chit chated a while and then she warned me that she just spent 114 dollers at victorias secrets that MIGHT still appear on out joing account as she needed new bras because I streached them all out when we were together.
She is still on the " Marcum has done everything wrong and its ALL his fauly " wave.
i9 ghuess its back do being dark. I will watch the account though and if she is makeing purcheses on it and not putting enough mony into it to cover those then i need to protect myself.
Umm, Marcum were you wearing your wife's bras again. You couldn't have "streched them out" any other way. Not to the point of needing all new bras. Give me a break!
She'll see pretty quickly what it looks like to have separate accounts.
Me 36 Husband 35 D5 S2 separated: 10/29/07-present Served divorce papers 1/22/09 "When the world gives out beneath your feet, it is time to learn how to fly."
Just be patient. Sometimes it may take a bit of time to switch from staring at you and being critical to actually looking at the situation and themselves. Follow the advice you're getting and be strong. Maybe there's an outlet for you like a friend or someone you can trust where you can dump the anxiety and negative thoughts and feelings. When they feel they have all the control it makes it easier for them to 'have their cake and eat it too'. I know this is my first post but I've been here a while and basically reading and learning.
My wife and I didn't physically seperate but I made all the major mistakes with begging, pleading, etc... When I finally started to disconnect and let her go and began GAL is when the positive movement began.
Trust the process. Improve yourself. Always show her cool and confident - keep the weak moments and your emotions tucked neatly away or dumped somewhere out of her view.
ken
MySitch Me-47 STBXW-41 D-5 S-8 ILYBNILWY-01/08 Want a D- 01/09 Physical Sep-01/10 D filed-06/10 Got 50% custody=09/11 Ride that wave!
Umm, Marcum were you wearing your wife's bras again. You couldn't have "streched them out" any other way. Not to the point of needing all new bras. Give me a break!
She'll see pretty quickly what it looks like to have separate accounts.
lol thats funny as heck!! no sometimes I got to exsited and my oger fingers could not work the clasp so... well you get the point.
I was going to seperate the accounts myself. If i havent heard from her by 7-15 ( my next check) and I am still seeing her bills on my account then I will contact her, but NOT untill then unless she contacts me. the 4th is her favorit holiday and I know she already has plan's I was going to do something nice for her but no I will do something nice for me... like work overtime lol
last night I talked to my friend and he set me down to help me fiqure out how to best split the money with my WAW. it was a real wakre up call. I also got the number for a attorney friend of theres who handels D.
I am not tryinvg to attack my W but i guess after almost 7 months I should take all of your advise and protect myself from her irational behavior twords money.
on a nother diffrent not i woke up this this morning and had got a text at 430 am saying " I cant sleep are you awake" I am takeing Minkermans advise ( finaly) and just sent back a "you ok" 30 min later I get a responce saying " ya I just couldn't sleep and wanted to get out of the house, sorry to bother you"
now the sorry to bother you part seemed a little much I guess. i dont know if shes feeling sorry for herself or what but i WANT her to talke to me. so I sent back "no bother phone dosent charge near the bed, didnt hear. if you need something let me know" Im am deffenitly getting more contacts from her now that im a little dark, but the question on my mind is when do i start makeing initial contacts again? Minker man if you out there its time to stop in again
she called today and asked me out to lunch. this never happens.
then she said she hasent been sleeping again and she wants to talk.
folks im scared as hell right now. the last time she " wasent sleeping is when she asked if I wanted to date other people. if she wants to leave there is nothing I can do anymore besided tell her to file herself. I took Minks advice and told her I had plans today but i could tommorow.
she sounded so sad my eart acks for her but I also know if she dosent want to be with me i dont want her.
OK. Breath Marcum. I wouldn't worry about the lunch. You've gone dark and since, she's texted you "have a nice day" -twice. Not something you say to someone you're about to drop a bomb on. Secondly, she is having trouble NOW. Before, when she thought you were pestering her, and persuing her, she probably slept like a baby assured that she made the right decision to leave. Now, however, since you've gone dark, left her alone, she can't sleep. Not only that, she she calls YOU when she can't sleep. I could be wrong (hard to believe, I know), but I think this lunch is going to be OK.
DON'T cry, don't touch her or try to put your tongue down her throat (ha,ha,ha). Remain cool as a cucumber during your lunch.
Me 36 Husband 35 D5 S2 separated: 10/29/07-present Served divorce papers 1/22/09 "When the world gives out beneath your feet, it is time to learn how to fly."
