You are completely correct. I had a great session w/ my DB coach after I posted and while we both agree that I was affirming, we are no longer going to discuss these past issues as they are used by W to get fired up at me.
Instead, we're going to discuss the past by looking forward - "I sure would do things differently now" or "That was then and this is now." It is funny that as soon as I'm not giving her exactly what she wants in a conversation, she shuts down and ends it like she did on Sunday. Whenever she reaches a point where she may have to stop and process what is happening, she stops all conversation and then acts like it never happened.
However, you are right as I'm done saying I'm sorry. I did that to express to her that I am listening and to be accountable for my part in things. But now my DB coach and I agree I no longer need to discuss my part or take any blame from here on out. I don't want to be pursuing and thus I'm no longer doing it.
I loved your post today, Phoenixdeux. Absolutely loved it! It was so similar to what my DB coach and I discussed that it was almost as if you were on the line w/ us today.
Thanks for your insight and your caring, my friend.
