The 1 year separated mark is nearly here . Wow where did that year go? Sitch is still in Limbo and I guess to some extent its because its where both W and me are comfortable enough for now. I say both because either of us has can change it. I had decided that the one year mark was going to be a line in the sand. I think emotionaly I have already crossed the line and in reality am waiting until after my trip before I decide to change anything. The Time away will be good for both of us and either of us may have a fresh perspective on things when I get back. But at that stage I want to move one way or the other.
The Time away will be good for both of us and either of us may have a fresh perspective on things when I get back. But at that stage I want to move one way or the other.
Dave, you will know when you are there. You don't need these artificial deadlines, you will just know.
For me, it was when I felt the sitch impacting my patience with my kids and my judgement in general. I knew I had to move on. So...I retained a L today.
Hope it doesn't get this far for you.
SD
Me 41 W 41 Kids: S9 S7 Married 16 years Bomb dropped 2/2/07 Still living together! current thread
I am 98% there , I am just procrastinating. This is major stuff as you know and I am just need to be sure I am sure. The emotional rollercoaster has settled and the ups and downs are minor compared to some of the year gone by. I guess I am just wanting to make sure the way I feel now remains reasonably steady , if you get what I mean.
It's great that I can now see who I'm talking to now..... & what a handsome C_K you are!
Maybe trying something different before going the legal route would be worth pursuing.
I think it's Puppydogtails thread that has some different suggestions on getting a sitch out of cake-eating-land. There doesn't seem to be much of a reason for your W to change anything soon, she seems very comfortable with the way they are.
After your trip, might be time to shake things up? Much easier to do when you've reached the point you have.
Not sure whos photo you have been looking at but thanks , you are not so bad yourself LOL .
I have had friends over tonight for dinner and that was realy great. W was here picking up D , she said " you are entertaining a lot lately" I said its good to have my friends over . I did learn that there is not one OM in the picture but 2 . One married who is an old school friend. He lives out of town. None of this from W of course , but its a small country and the hills have eyes. Not too cut up about this , more disappointed . It changes little , the path remains the same.
Nope, it was you alright , with that nice smile, on the boat with your friends. See, there is happiness available that doesn't require a S, & if that's a recent picture, it looks like you're doing a great job of finding it!
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I did learn that there is not one OM in the picture but 2 . It changes little , the path remains the same.
Each time I learn more information it seems that I initially get upset, only to realize the same thing....nothing's changed.
Although, to be honest about it, I usually call CVA (or Nomo), run through the whole thing a few times, & then listen to them remind me that the path really remains the same.
I'm happy to see that you're having friends over often, it does wonders.
One of the people at my dinner part was a single female who I have been out with and have told W I have been out with before. We shall call her L . I have known L for a few years , she was the partner of a good friend , they split not long before me and W . So when either of us needs a partner for an event we tend to drag the other along nothing more nothing less.
Anyway ,before I left work I get this text from W " you dont need to keep L a secret " I just text back " not much of a secret , I have told you that we have been out" .
She went on to say that she chose to leave , is a big girl and she is more than OK with me seeing OW , really honestly.
I get home from work ( winter here ) no one home but W has been and got a fire going for me , so I came home to a warm house.
Last night was takeaway night at our house and W has usualy stayed unless she had something to go to. I asked her if she was going to come . She declined . Not going anywhere just going to stay in. So she stayed alone in her cottage on a cold sat night . I dont think it will do her any harm.
SD , You are right and I am sure she does a bit of reflecting. The OM in her life are a distraction though , I dont see much happening in the short term. I dont even know if I still want to save this M any more. I strugle to miss her. I will leave things as they are once I return at the end of next month I may give things another shot , but this time I will try something quite different.
but thanks , you are not so bad yourself LOL .