Bad news is that we had another go-round last night on the phone. It ended badly.
Basically he told me that we got our stimulus check and that the taxes had been automatically taken from there so that is done and over with. We worked out a deal to pay the phone and auto insurance (the only two bills we now share) and how to split the kicker check.
I backslid and started talking about the relationship again (stupid girl that I am) and we got into a huge fight about this house issue again. Apparently the loan is being co-signed by his dad and that it would be for 200,000. I can't believe how stupid this man is. . .grrr! He honestly thinks he can deal with owning a home.
I wish I could post an audio clip of the whole conversation because it was so ridiculous. I kept my cool even though it was hard. At the end of the conversation I asked him where a 100.00 dollar deposit had come from and he said someone gave it to him. I asked who and eventually he told me that his mom (estranged mother might I add) had given it to him. I asked why and he said because he had asked for a small loan because money was tight. Do you see what I mean here? Idiot! He thinks he can own a home and yet has to borrow 100.00 from his mommy to pay his grocery bills or whatever? How crazy.
I guess that the thing that hurts the most about that is that he would rather go to her for help than to me. . .his own wife?
Anyways I was angry so I said "you borrowed money from her? That's pathetic."
He hung up on me and I didn't even bother to call back.
I feel bad about what I said but it is so true. When I talk to him and he can't even carry on a normal conversation with me it just makes me less and less attracted to him because all I see is a scared little boy who is lost in the world and making all the wrong choices. He is no longer the confident man I once fell for.
So I am back in the same spot as always. Do I file for a seperation to avoid financial ruin because of his bad choices or do I jump into a divorce. I mean why separate when there is no chance of things working out? Why delay the inevitable?
I'm tired of fighting for a man who does not love me and will never be the man I want or need to have in my life as my husband?
