The kids are going to their Dad's apartment tomorrow, driving the half hour down. I had asked my 18 year old if he knew where his Dad lived because of college forms which asked for addresses of both parents. That's when I found out they were going there tomorrow.
I'd been looking at that form, thinking it would be easier to put the home address. I wasn't going to put his Dad's until I knew they knew. Once he said yes, I figured, off with the veil of secrecy and filled his address in. I said I'd known but couldn't say anything until his dad told them. Only then did my 18 year old mention what sounded like a different apartment number. Ugh.
Their dad seems to be calling them more. I hear his voice projecting from the cellphones. Maybe he's excited to be more open. My daughter told me he asked her if she was avoiding his calls. She said she's just been awfully busy. It seems the two boys hear from him more often. I never realized his voice was so loud.
Later when my daughter and I were shopping for birthday cards, she asked me if her dad had been invited to the BBQ. I said I didn't know. "No problem, I'll ask him tomorrow when I see him." *gulp* That particular quandry was taken care of when her dad called. First thing out of her mouth.. "Are you going to the BBQ?" Who knows what will happen next.
I'm not even going to worry about crossing that bridge. I'm sure it will be messy.. ugh.
Before the kids' dad left, his family often blamed me for whatever went wrong. When I started going out of my way to visit their mom without even being asked (it's a 90 minute drive one way), their attitude started softening.
Blood is thicker than water. toss in some dirt with water and mud gets pretty interesting (mud pies!) or awfully messy.
It's a learning curve, right? The best thing I can do with the kids is to try to remember to keep my mouth shut, LISTEN and not pry. It's funny that everything to do with their dad involves not telling me. Anything to do with me is an open book. I know that's a good thing. Perhaps the kids are protecting me and themselves but because I still get visibly upset (hold my breath, flush red, have some 'tell' that only children know).
Nothing I can do about it, no need to worry. Just keep plodding.
I'm still being a weenie about writing back to the lawyer. I'll do that tomorrow.
