I struggle with guilt a lot. What did I do to cause this? I know that I didn't do anything and me being in 2 plays back to back last summer and into the fall may have negelected our marriage a little but it never gave him the right to have an affair. But I still look and look to find something I did.
You didn't do anything Sara...he made a childish choice when he was at a rough spot. We all get in rough spots and we all have a choice to act like adults or act like children.
You being in two plays is only a problem in your relationship if he refuses to make the most of that and share it with you.
I started working part time for a theatre in town last spring, I have wanted to do that since I was 16 and I never did get around to it. Believe me there is a lot anyone can do to participate in a theatre production so a couple can keep close and bond.
You living a life isn't a problem unless he decides to take the immature road and let it be a problem rather than an opportunity for the two of you to grow as a couple.
I worked at my theatre alone this winter and spring, and believe me there was a lot my wife could have done to help out too. The reason he had an affair has nothing to do with you.
You made choices in your relationship that you may do otherwise should the time come again, but each time our spouse makes a choice that makes things more difficult for a marriage, the OTHER spouse can take a mature road to offset that, OR they can get pissed and make it a lot worse. His affair was his decision and his decision alone.
Don't sell your house, if he has to be out soon then I agree with you, hold onto it and enjoy it.
I am sorry I missed the productions!
I love theatre, I majored in theatre at university until someone I was dating talked me into gonig to law school instead...damn I am such a pushover. :P lol
I would give him only what he's legally entitled to and not a dime more. Pay him an amount paralell with the maturity he's showing through this whole mess...that's the fairest way to deal with gulit.
