Eventually, if they don't give up their affair, you do have to either throw them out or file for D, to preserve your own sanity and your own self-respect, but by not doing it right away, you give yourself a chance to live the "better you" in front of them, and to have THAT be the last thing they remember as they ponder their life-altering choices.
The better me was always out there for her, when ever she needed something, or wanted me to do something, or need time to herself, or help around the house, I was there for her. I treated her like a queen, when she worked late, I let her sleep in and even brought her breakfest in bed. I gave a 110% always and in everything I could do for her. I was romantic, and giving without any thought of getting anything in return.
I feel while she is agreeable, that I file for D and get my life in order. I'll be able to keep the kids and house, once I have that, I'll feel a little better, more secure about her not being able to flip on me. She is in a state right now that she happy being by herself, I don't want to risk it down the road that she changes her mind, and tries for custody of the kids and house. She is so screwed up in her head right now its time to file.
Quote:
Sara: Once the OW was gone, I was always willing to work on things. I always knew that I had it in me to forgive and trust again. He never was willing to do that and so I am almost divorced.
You are a better person than me, I cannot (right now) even think about forgiving her. I don't have a problem forgiving her for the way she feels around the kids, (they drive her insane) its not her fault she is the way she is. I can forgive her for leaving becasue the kids and I will be fine and she doesn't want to be the angry person she was in front of them. There is one decision she made, to hook up with OM that I cannot forgive.
M45 W41 M10 3/4 years D9, D6, D6, S5 OM confirmed 12/07 merry christmas to me WAM (Walk Away Mom) 05/31/08 Date I'll forgive W for A = never
