____________________________________________________________ Well, just when I was feeling hopeless, W called on Saturday asking if she could visit. I had plans with friends, but told her I could cancel them. Won't do that every time, but I haven't seen W in a month. It's strange, but I've kind of reached the "screw it" stage. If she wants to come back, great. I can’t convince her, and I'm done trying. I remember reading on here that this is the point of LRT.
Her excuse was picking up some stuff, and she’d leave on Sunday. Then she added “and I really want to see you.” I had the place clean, roses on the table, and dinner ready when she arrived. She gave me a long hug and said “I just needed to be around someone who understands my headaches”. Her dad constantly forgets about them, and asks why she’s acting strange, etc. I told her I'm trying really hard to understand, and she said "you’re doing a great job".
More details later, but to make a long story short she’s staying until Tuesday
Interesting tidbits when she briefly lets her guard down. Most of the time she acts fine, talks of our M in the past tense, tells me of the great place she might rent in Houston.
"So, it looks like your doing great. (pause). I’m not." Then she started crying. I didn’t push for more, and she fell asleep shortly after.
"If we’d just waited to get married and worked on our issues first, things would have been so great."
This morning while I got ready for work, "you’ve really grown up somehow".
DB is very key here, because I expect all the things she's saying and know how to respond. She can see I've changed, but it just makes her mad that it didn't happen before. I affirm and apologize.
On phone with her friend B: "Yes, I’m with H in Dallas. Some days we're friends, others we hate each other, but today we’re friends." - I couldn’t believe this. B really hates me (according to W). B was passing through Dallas and asked if we wanted to meet her. W declined saying it would be awkward. Of course, she got off the phone and explained that B and all her friends still hate me, the offer wasn't serious, etc. Very interesting.
GAL is continuing, I played at church Sunday morning, even though I know she doesn't approve of that right now. Wasn't a big deal, she was still in the shower when I got home at 12:15.
Anyway, that's all for now, better get back to work and W. Will journal more when she leaves.
Me: 30 W: 28 T 8, M 6 S: 7-27-2007 W filed (again) 3-2011 Served 8-2011 Responded, now dark "I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear" MLK
Hope things are going well. Why doesn't she approve of you playing at church?
Me 36 Husband 35 D5 S2 separated: 10/29/07-present Served divorce papers 1/22/09 "When the world gives out beneath your feet, it is time to learn how to fly."
Hope things are going well. Why doesn't she approve of you playing at church?
Things were great! She almost stayed another night. Today she said "this was a very nice break, thank you."
As for the church stuff, part of her QLC is turning her back on all of that. We talked about it this week and she says she doesn't miss it at all.
She's also angry that my GAL includes playing there. That I shouldn't be on stage, shouldn't get complements from anyone (if you've ever led worship at a church, you know not much of that goes on anyway). She also says I shouldn't be welcome in any of my friends houses after all the ways I've screwed up. Just a general anger that I'm doing well. I only mentioned it because it could have been a sore spot on Sunday Morning but wasn't.
Me: 30 W: 28 T 8, M 6 S: 7-27-2007 W filed (again) 3-2011 Served 8-2011 Responded, now dark "I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear" MLK
Sounds like a good weekend. She opened up to you quite a bit. Now, she goes back to reality. That's going to be hard for her...good for you!
Me 36 Husband 35 D5 S2 separated: 10/29/07-present Served divorce papers 1/22/09 "When the world gives out beneath your feet, it is time to learn how to fly."
(((Jon))) how have you been? Just trying to get caught up...It looks like things are going well!!
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
Things are good here, just taking some time to process the weekend, like last time.
News-wise, SIL is getting married in Houston in November, so there's all kinds of work and family drama for W to deal with. She'll be spending the entire 4th weekend wedding planning, and she's not looking forward to it. FIL is still completely against it (I thought he'd budge by now).
W just found a place to rent, at the home of a professional who's only home a couple days a month. Another woman is already renting a room. Sounds shady to me, like most Craigslist postings. Good thing is, no lease, no commitment. Oh, and she said I could come visit! This wasn't possible at her parents.
W also consolidated all her debt with a new low-interest loan, so the creditors are off her back. I'm proud of her for that.
There were negatives, like her getting really ticked that I still had my ring on. I'd forgotten because she came so suddenly. She also got mad that I still call her "wife" to my friends (she snooped in my texts).
I told her that it's not my intention to make her mad like that, and apologized. Thought about mentioning that we're not divorced, or even in process, so what should I call her? But thought better of it
Me: 30 W: 28 T 8, M 6 S: 7-27-2007 W filed (again) 3-2011 Served 8-2011 Responded, now dark "I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear" MLK
It's a HUGE positive that she mentioned you could come visit. Understand that...she's inviting you into her new, private space. Baby steps indeed, but things are looking good.
Me 36 Husband 35 D5 S2 separated: 10/29/07-present Served divorce papers 1/22/09 "When the world gives out beneath your feet, it is time to learn how to fly."
