Well, I took all your advice to heart...and spent some time considering exactly where my heart and head was...and today, I ended it with BF.
He did not take it too well, although he also expected it. It was difficult...very difficult...to hurt someone that I care about. He's a good man, a very nice man...for someone else or for some other stage in my life. It just didn't feel right for me, and the bottom line was that I was having these warning flags setting off feelings in my gut that said this is not going to work. And he wasn't making it easy by always wanting more than I was willing or able to give...I don't know truly know which came first - my feelings that it wasn't right or my resentment of his demands on my time - but bottom line, it just isn't the right combination of factors for a successful relationship.
It makes me understand so much better why my XH relied on fighting and anger to make the break. He and I had been together 15+ years, not just a few months, and had a life and family together. And you know, I always knew he loved me, even as he left - that is why it was difficult to accept. Anyhow, I can't imagine what XH felt over hurting me, so he picked fights to keep the anger going. That's the easier way out...chicken sh!t, but easy.
I didn't want to drag it out until we hated each other, with me pushing him away but not really ending it. That is what causes a lot of resentment and hurt, in my opinion. And not fair to him in any way. Anyhow...I feel sad but peaceful. This was the best choice, for now.
Thanks for all your advice, friends...it helped to clear my head and reinforce that what I was feeling was valid.
