Thanks Puppy - I will stay completely out of it. I told him it was between him and her. They do have that kind of R. If she is clinically depressed, what does that mean going forward?? Does clinical depression cause the kind of behavior we've been seeing??
I think she is depressed (have no idea what clinical is), but thought it was just part of the MLC. It seems to me that everything I read about MLC is exactly what she is going through.
M 43 W 44 M 17 T 22 S16,12,9 Bomb 2/05/08 I served her 1/06/09 S'd 3/15/09 D'd 12/21/09
"Tough times don't last, tough people do." --My Dad to me years ago, me to my boys now.
Those are really questions for a doctor, Mules. It's my understanding that "clinical depression" means that there is a chemical imbalance at the core, as opposed to any emotional issue.
That's the problem with labeling someone with MLC. It gets you into some kind of mindset that you have to pass through a certain number of stages and there is nothing you can do about it. If it turned out she had a treatable depression you'd feel silly later that you were waiting for the MLC to work out. Personally, I'm not real fond of that designation. I've seen it used here for all kinds of people, even ones with a perfectly good reason to walk away, like their spouse was an a$$ or they are having an affair.
You cannot be lonely if you like the person you're alone with. Dr. Wayne Dyer
Just went on a few websites about clinical depression. How the heck can you determine if what she is going through is an MLC or clinical depression. They have very similar symptoms. But you treat clinical depression with medication and counseling. With MLC, you ride out the storm and let her go. How would you determine the right course of action? What if a doctor believes you are clinically depressed but in reality are MLC?? Or what if I am treating her as an MLC but she is in reality clinically depressed?? Now I have an entirely new angle to ponder over this!!
All I know - is the person I love most in the world is going through something inside her that I can't fathom. I feel terrible for her and pray that she gets through it soon for her well-being, not mine. I will be ok no matter the outcome. Knowing her the way I do I can't imagine the inner conflict she is feeling as I can see it on her face all the time. Despite all the damage she is doing, my thoughts are always with her in the hopes she will be ok. I think that is why I end up caving on a lot of the decisions I make. Detaching is what I am trying to do. But I am doing it during a period when it seems like she is trying to get a little closer to me. Then I wonder - is she trying to get closer for the right reasons or the wrong reasons.
I can't shake the feeling of holding her the other night. She almost felt like a scared little girl. I could fit my entire right arm around her and touch my chest on the other side. While she thinks this new weight is sexy, I think it is pathetic and it scares me to death. She is withering away to nothing. I am praying that her sole is still intact inside and that it will ultimately win this battle.
M 43 W 44 M 17 T 22 S16,12,9 Bomb 2/05/08 I served her 1/06/09 S'd 3/15/09 D'd 12/21/09
"Tough times don't last, tough people do." --My Dad to me years ago, me to my boys now.
Again, let the doctors decide that. A good MD will know how to consult with a good psych doctor to decide on the best course of treatment after they come up with a diagnosis. The way I see these things, what you're trying to do is rule things OUT, more than anything else.
You are right Puppy. It's just that this morning she did something in bed that took me back. She put her leg into my stomach because we were facing each other. She used to do that because she wanted me to hold her legs and eventually massage them. So she is sending me mixed signs. I ended up holding her leg for a while and gently massaging. Then I thought to myself that this is pursuing her, so I stopped.
I like the thought of ruling things out - that makes a lot of sense as these things are so similar.
All I know is that I wouldn't wish this sitch on anyone!
M 43 W 44 M 17 T 22 S16,12,9 Bomb 2/05/08 I served her 1/06/09 S'd 3/15/09 D'd 12/21/09
"Tough times don't last, tough people do." --My Dad to me years ago, me to my boys now.
I told her that I really want to go to the party and going with them to LG is not my first choice.
(sniff....sniff...sniff).....hey....do you smell man ? I think I smell man?
WTG. FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
