My W was running around working this morning and I don't know how it got started, she said she had a interview Friday (I'm off work Friday) I said, ok, I'll see you on Monday, She said wait a minute, I wanted to take kids to the pool Friday afternoon, I said I would never stand in her way of taking the kids, but I want her out of the house, I don't want to see her.
We talked about D and she agreed to my terms, I get the house and she gets 1/2 of my 401K, she said she has L that can do it for $750 because it will be uncontested, I told her, great, give me the name and phone number and I will take care of it because I want her out of the house as quick as possible, so I can move on with my life. - Should I let her deal with the L and just pay for it, she would be the one divorcing me ???
She was crying, telling me she expected more help from our parents, I told her I couldn't help that. Told her I couldn't do anything about our families not helping us out more, that all we have is each other to deal with everything. She was upset that her parents are not involved with the kids like her grand parents were with her.
She kept repeating that she was sorry for hurting me, I said, "I don' want to hear I'm sorry because it doesn't help. all I want is you our of the house"
She repeated her sequence of reasons she was leaving, blah, blah, blah, I told her OM was a big problem for me, that because of what she is doing I cannot stand to even look at her
She said OM was not the reason for her leaving. I told her I want her out of my house out of my life, out out out !!!!. Told her our whole M was a waist that she should just take the wedding album outside and burn it.
Again, I am the worse DB person on this site, I'm inflexible on subject of OM, get rid of OM and I'll talk, other than that, get out of my house, get out of my life, get away from me completely.
Googbye witch !!!
M45 W41 M10 3/4 years D9, D6, D6, S5 OM confirmed 12/07 merry christmas to me WAM (Walk Away Mom) 05/31/08 Date I'll forgive W for A = never
Have you read Love Must Be Tough by James Dobson? I believe I have this book, I don't care anymore, W wants OM, W wants her own life and I'm going to give it to her.
By D and getting full custody of the kids and having the title of the house changed into my name only, I'm at least protecting myself and the kids from her. I'm going to strike while the iron is hot.
Googbye witch !!!
M45 W41 M10 3/4 years D9, D6, D6, S5 OM confirmed 12/07 merry christmas to me WAM (Walk Away Mom) 05/31/08 Date I'll forgive W for A = never
I know you may be in a bit of an unusual mood right now, but I am sorry that it came to this. You are going to be fine, your kids are going to be fine and right now that is all that matters. (((((Jeff))))). I feel for you hon.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Hey Kat, thanks for your words of encouragement, I know the kids and I will be fine. You know me the old stubborn German. I want to plow through all this crap in my life and move forward.
W is unstable, and I nedd to file asap before her feelings change about what she wants. Because she hasn't or won't start working fulltime until September, I don't think the reality of what she has done will set in until sometime after September.
So that is why I made the comment about striking while the iron is hot.
Once she signs the D paperwork, I'll change all the locks in the house and I need to get her off of my bank accounts. - there is no $ in them right now, I just need to remember to get this done.
When she signs D paperwork, I'll giver her my ring with the following note attached.
My ring
This ring of gold weighs on my mind I was once told this ring meant something This ring once represented hope and love Now I'm tired of this ring of gold. It weighs too heavily on my mind. What does this ring mean now It reminds me of my vows
This ring of gold looks so old. Each scratch and dent represents a battle, a trial some hardship or pain Each scratch or dent obtained through the years represents yet another tear.
This ring of gold once meant something It once meant something special What does it represent now Does it still hold out hope for love or does it just represent pain, sadness the madness of life and bygone days.
I still wear my ring, I cannot explain why Its still means something to me It still means hope and love to me I wear it to remind me of my best friend I don't know how long I will hold on for when it comes off it represents the end
M45 W41 M10 3/4 years D9, D6, D6, S5 OM confirmed 12/07 merry christmas to me WAM (Walk Away Mom) 05/31/08 Date I'll forgive W for A = never
[quote=JeffSTLShe repeated her sequence of reasons she was leaving, blah, blah, blah, I told her OM was a big problem for me, that because of what she is doing I cannot stand to even look at her
She said OM was not the reason for her leaving. I told her I want her out of my house out of my life, out out out !!!!. Told her our whole M was a waist that she should just take the wedding album outside and burn it.
Again, I am the worse DB person on this site, I'm inflexible on subject of OM, get rid of OM and I'll talk, other than that, get out of my house, get out of my life, get away from me completely.
[/quote]
OK, I the "goodbye, witch!" was a little harsh, but I don't see anything wrong with what you did, Jeff. Your emotions were REAL, and they were at least HONEST, and frankly, you guys could USE little more honesty around there.
I mean, you can't operate with her with this anger on a day-to-day basis, but my personal opinion is, a helluva lot MORE people on these boards need to take the position of "get rid of OM/OW, and we'll talk." Dating, MCing, hugging, kissing, making love, rescuing, placating, pleasing, etc. -- while a spouse is in an active affair, known to both spouses -- I just don't get it, and I DON'T agree.
If that makes me "not very DB," then I guess I'm guilty.
In any event, I wouldn't sweat how you handled it. Just get back on the high road for the next encounter, that's all.
hey toots)))))))))) you've hit your limit and you are doing what you have to do. As far as who'll pay for the filing split the costs (I split the costs with stbx for the mediator). If she wanted her parents to be more involved then she should'nt have cut her mom off, it's all her doing, but again she fails to see any wrong doing.
She may or may not see what' she's done in Sep. she might still fool herself thinking she did the right thing 'til she dies and just blame everyone else for her misery. That'd be her problem then.
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
Cat: As far as who'll pay for the filing split the costs (I split the costs with stbx for the mediator).
She doesn't have any $ so I'll dig it up and get this thing done.
Quote:
Cat: If she wanted her parents to be more involved then she should'nt have cut her mom off, it's all her doing, but again she fails to see any wrong doing.
W always says, she tried to become closer with her parents, but her mom critical of her treated her like a kid, She knows how her mom is and she just cannot handle turning the other cheek and just dealing with her mom.
Quote:
Puppy: OK, I the "goodbye, witch!" was a little harsh, but I don't see anything wrong with what you did, Jeff. Your emotions were REAL, and they were at least HONEST, and frankly, you guys could USE little more honesty around there.
I didn't say goodbye witch to her, I was thinking of it when I typed my post.
I cannot stand the thought of OM with my W, and I will not stand for it ever, that is why Puppy I say I'm not a good DB'er. I never had a option of saving my M with OM involved. Its wrong, its wrong, its wrong and all I ever wanted was to TSO
New Abbreviation is where I started months ago: TSO = "Throw Spouse Out"
M45 W41 M10 3/4 years D9, D6, D6, S5 OM confirmed 12/07 merry christmas to me WAM (Walk Away Mom) 05/31/08 Date I'll forgive W for A = never
