It's good that you break the hugs, but your convos with your wife are totally enmeshed/codependent. Everything is about how her actions make YOU feel. And you're walking on eggs at the beginning, too -- JUST SPIT IT OUT! I can see where this has probably driven her nuts.
It would have been much better to have said:
"I heard you talking on the phone about August 1st, and having an apartment. When were you going to tell me?" Then, once she told you, simply saying "Thank you for letting me know. I will plan accordingly," and then go off and do something.
