Agree with the above. You'll know that you are on the way to healing and a better place when you start doing things for YOU and not worrying how it will affect her (not to be translated as being a di-k to her). Eg:

Unhealthy: I'll go to Lake George because if I don't, I'll get into a fight with her and push her further away. I'll do anything to make her happy.

Healthy: My children need me right now while why W is confused and in pain. Time with the neighbors takes time away from me and the kids and this is a boundary for me. If she insists on going with them, I may have to politely refuse as this is one of my non-negotiable unalterable terms.

FIB

PS: the Mets and Lake George.....don't leave your house. BTW..if you DO go away ALONE with her, look into The Sagamore if it is in your price range.

Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11)
Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t
Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10
Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;