I've done that, too. I actually acted like the caring guy who would bring soup, fill hot water bottles, and take care of things, but I resented it all deeply.
Partly, it was that "excuse" aspect--"Here we go again, your stomach hurts, huh? I guess I know what we won't be doing for the next week."
Partly, it was that little-boy voice that whines about what's NOT FAIR!!!!! "Sure, I'll be glad to fill hot water bottles and bring you everything you need even though you can't lower yourself enough to have sex with me. . . . since I'm not good enough to be your husband, but apparently I'm good enough to be your &%%$*ing nurse . . . ."
It isn't rational. I'm not proud of it. But I'm finding that it happens to other people, too. (OK, this is interesting if not exactly a proud moment: when I typed those words (things I really used to say to myself) my face got hot and I tensed up. I was feeling the old anger again even while I talked about it in the past tense--it's right there, close enough to be called up by familiar words.)
