Where is the real me? What do I want?

[Purple]

Hi Bridge...ag I had three goes at your name before I typed it right.
I'm still going on the email, I did send him a quick reply when I first got it with a couple of comments but told him I would be sending another one soon (couple of days). I've now got two drafts going at once! The first one started off trying to dissect his email and not turn into a tit for tat. The other one has turned into a huge vent. I'm not sure where to start.

Keeping the peace has always been job #1 for me. I hate hate hate when people are angry regardless if they are angry with me or just angry.

Acknowledgement of the problem....hmmm....I think h feels like I blame him for everything and that I am completely innocent. I know I am not but it's hard to articulate it and put it out there for him to hook into me. aaah....I may have just realised something. I don't want to open up to him because I will feel exposed. He has tried ot open up to me and i have rejected him so he's licking his wounds. The thing is I was trying to protect myself from getting in too deep too quick (again).

Hmm....just babbling here....gotta get to bed.