DQ's Sex Blog

[Cinco]

Hey, DQ I tend to concur with Bagheera here. As a young man I tended to want the intimate relationship along with the sex. My 1st was actually a fairly long relationship at one year. Yes, I had my share of "one nighters", but I much preferred to get into a relationship over just the sex alone.

I even had one relationship where we never had sex at all (even though admittedly I did want it, but never pushed it). It was not platonic either we did plenty of kissing, hugging, petting and lying together. It ended not because of a lack of sex but because of my lack of finishing college, she had graduated and I was still in school. She was ready to find someone to settle down with and well... it just wasn't me. I absolutely adored her and loved spending time with her. It just didn't work out for us. I could have waited for her until we were married if that had been our road together.

Like B says, when there is that emotional connection and you really care for the woman it takes it to a completely different level. Instead of a fleeting exciting moment that seems so empty when it is over, it becomes a special time that the two of you share with true passion, fireworks, euphoria, etc. and like my above experience, doesn't always have to include sex either.

Guys like us take it very personally when we have found "the one" that we want to spend our lives with, be intimate with and make love with and they later reject us (lose interest in sex) because______(life got in the way, kids, too tired... take your pick). We looked long and hard to find that special person that we fell in love with. Once the love was there we just assumed that the sex part would always be a natural extension of that love that we would share.

For me the love came first between my wife and myself, then the love making came after as a gift to one another.