Mulesqb still getting kicked in the a$$

[faithisbelieving]

mules...your neighbor is like a toxic cloud. To me..this still borders on an EA. Can't you find a tool from someone else? Who the heck is he to be telling YOU that your sitch is 'going to be OK'.

As noted previously, this sounds totally like MLC to me. The tattoo..the feelings of emptiness....etc. As someone said to me, this isn't going to be over quickly, so, patience is your friend.

I said i was sorry for unintentionally turning the kids against her if that is the way she feels.

Uh....no.
"I'm sorry you feel that way but I would never do that to you. The children love you and there is nothing in the universe that I could or WOULD ever do to change that".

She kept telling them to go do something so "me and daddy can talk". I was torn - I wanted to tell her that I didn't agree and to let them stay but I didn't.

That's a good move. That's called LISTENING. Listen more, talk MUCH LESS. They say early on that one of the best investments you can make in your M is hiring a babysitter.

I dropped them at camp and cried my eyes out. I just don't know what to do.

mules...you're OK. I lost a lot of tears myself..in front of the PC...running in the dark at night....over my kids as they fell asleep. It's OK. You SHOULD let it out...feel your pain and grief. Don't ignore it.

You are doing the right thing...being here...etc. The more you grasp that THIS IS NOT ABOUT YOU...that these are HER ISSUES...that MLC is out of your control...you will become stronger. As you lovingly 'disengage' from here...you WILL feel better. It may not be easier but the emotional drain will lessen a bit.

My advice to you is to start to give yourself some time. Go to a Starbucks alone and read. Get Levine's NUTS book or Grays Venus and Mars Starting Over. Get out for a few moments by yourself. Buy yourself something. Immerse yourself in the kids. Try and let the 'fight for your M' go for a bit.

FIB