Edge: a natural born leader. Someone "not to be messed with." Both my dad and x are very tall, solid (dad was 6'4", 330 lbs; me, I am 5'1"). No, I don't want to have to "fix" anyone--I met one of those, and walked the other way. I think it is the "safe, protected and cared for." No one who is into illegal stuff. x was often compared to a lumberjack. Rugged.
A cowboy who would open up with me? The bad-ass to everyone else, who could be sensitive around me? The Boy Scout with some roughness at the edges. I like motorcycles, leather, longish hair and don't mind tatoos. Chiseled features. Don't care too much what they do for a living (although I think I might be bored to death by an accountant). I do value intelligence; doesn't have to be book smart. I hate smoking and drugs, and greatly dislike drinking.
Now, me, I am the picture of an elementary school teacher (the "cute" ones you had). The goody-goody. At least publicly.
Again, something that I will have to reflect on, long and hard. I don't want to overlook someone who would be loving, solid, etc., because my first impulse might be that they are a bit boring. Hey, I am boring!
It really stinks that x was the "model" for so long--he either played the part well, or changed drastically over the last 2 years. Friends were always pointing out what a "hunk" he was (most often used descriptor), and then were amazed by how much he participated in the family beyond traditional roles...they often asked if he would rub shoulders with their husbands, hoping that some of his qualities would rub off! Bet they aren't wishing that, anymore!
My bar is going to be set pretty high; I had a good relationship for a very long time. I just want the next one to be better at communication. Who knows? Maybe I'll run into a strong-willed professional?
