GRRRRRRRRRRR! This sounds so familiar - his UK twin comes out with things like that, although far, FAR less these days.
I dealt with it by saying (something along the lines of) "you make an assumption about me then go and act on that assumption. I've asked you many, many times not to do that. I don't know what else I can do but ask you not to make assumtions about me, please just ask". Then I shut up.
They really are a lot alike, aren't they? Sheesh. I say about the same thing. I actually challenged him the other night. He's always going on about how he wants my input, to tell him what I want. So, I did. And I got some cr*p about how he was too tired to process, etc., was a long way off (July 4th..um, yeah...long way off) etc. And I was just not in that place, you know? So I called him on it. Told him that when I *did* tell him what I wanted, there were excuses, he was too tired, or he just didn't listen, so why bother? I told him I was just going to go off and do what I wanted and make myself happy, and if he'd like he could join me. Or not.
I also asked him what 15-minutes of the day he wouldn't be too tired/not awake/busy working/distracted/doing something else so I could pencil that in on my calendar and save it all up for then.
A little snarky, yes, but dang. He was a bit miffed, but then he came back and apologized and was ready to hear what I had to say. We solved it together.
Maybe I was wrong, but I worked dang hard on myself to be a better partner, so now I expect him to step up too. And he has. Just not on this. Yet.
SD
Me: 40 H: 43 H had EA from 2/06-9/06 Bomb 5/06 Piecing since 9/2006 3/2008: Boundary setting 7/2009: Boundary crossing~dropped my own bomb. 8/2010: Marriage finally on track!
