still havent heard anything from anyone concerning son's bank accounts, what is ex's problem why cant he just hand them over as he agreed at the back end of last year, he as had two solicitors letters that he chooses to ignore, even if he as had the money and it is gone why doesn't he give an update on the situation to my solicitor, because this won't go away even if he chooses to bury his head, it is son's money and not ex's or anyone elses. What is going on in his screwed up head that he will not hand it over, it isn't that it is going to be spent it is merely a change of name from his to mine to be the trustee until son reaches 18 years old, hes given up everything else to do with son and I so what is holding him back on this one.
Mandy, I suspect he's probably spent the funds or he's holding the account hostage. It's the one last thing he has control over and when shoved to the wall, so to speak, he's going to hold on to that one last piece of his past that has his name on it until the bitter end.
I don't know how much money was in the account, but if I were you, I'd lay low for a bit and see if this turtle sticks his head out again. Can I ask you something? Can you not go to the financial institution and withdraw the funding a little at a time and deposit it into a new account? Is there any way that you can have the amount verified?
The bottom line here is "control" with this guy and he feels like his control is being threatened. I know you are very concerned/anxious to get this squared away, but something tells me you may have to back off a bit to get him to come out into the light of day to admit that he has either spent the funds or just won't let go.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
snodderly and true, thankyou both for your replies. snodderly I agree and that is my thoughts exactly that he is using it as a form of control, albeit to his past or to his son, maybe he is hoping that when son wants it he will go to him for it, but that is not the case, it all needs dealing with now as all the accounts are still under our old address where no-one lives and my name isn't on the accounts so in order to change the address even ex has to be involved, he signed the court order saying he would transfer the accounts to mine for me to be trustee for son, it is a simple procedure, I have asked in the banks, he goes and fills in a form to say he gives up trustee, I go in and sign the form there it is done. To take any money out of the accounts at all he would have to go with son to the bank, and son isn't having any of that at all, and understanderbly so, the man who called himself dad hasnt bothered with him for 15 months so he's hardly going to get in the car and go to the bank with him. Like you say snodderly, I think it will have gone and if it hasn't he is using it as a final control, because in all sincerity when it is dealt with he will be out of our lives full stock and barrel, that is the only thing that he has left to do with son at all. truelove do we agree that our ex's want putting in a sack and banging up a wall, thanks for your good wishes, I wish you a nice week also.
snodderly forgot to say I can go check one account tomorrow and see if it is there or not, as the annual interest should go in, unfortunately I cant do the others until august, but will let you know if it is there or not.thing is because ex signed the court order to say he was signing it over, if he doesnt he will end up in big trouble, my solicitor is saying we are looking at breach of a court order and maybe theft. I dont want to go down that path, I know none of this is the man I knew, all I want is what is my sons money what was to set him up for his start in the open world so to speak.
went and checked the accounts, I am pleased to say all the money is still there for now, so it appears ex is just playing at being stupid, ignoring solicitors letters, ignoring court orders and as snodderley and I agree he is holding the money as hostage and a form of control. it is his last lifeline to any contact with son.
Mandy, I would lay low and and wait until a future date and then try again to get the account transferred over to your name. Yes, he's acting like an @ss about it, but he is thinking with the wrong head these days and control is the name of the game for him right now. This is the last bit of control he has and he will do whatever it takes to maintain it.
Sometimes, you have to step back and allow things to settle down and wait until the opportune time presents itself in order to get what you want. I know you would like to get this all taken care of now, but it appears it's not going to happen at this time. Give it a couple of months and then have your solicitor go forth in getting it.
It's frustrating and yes, you would like to get this over and done w. Some of these mlcers just take forever to get anything out of and then when you have done what you need to do, they wonder why you don't want to have anything to do w/them. I feel for you because I've been there.
Try to be patient just a little bit longer. I wouldn't have anything more to do w/this guy for a while and allow the dust to settle a bit. The old saying "the harder you push, the harder they pull against you" is so true.
Please try to enjoy your day. Hugs to your little boy.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
snodderly, I again thankyou for your reply and insight, I agree with everything you are saying, about laying low, I haven't had anything to do with the ex for 14 months now since he started court proceedings to get us out of his house, we left the house last november and definately had no contact whatsoever with him since then, he took son away 16 months ago for a weekend and because on their return son still wouldn't bend and play happy familiew with dad and his new wife he hasn't bothered with son since then. so how long can this go on for he dragged it through the courts, he put us out of our home and we haven't retaliated one bit, all we ask is son's accounts handing over as all the details are going to the old place and it isn't fair that he has control over sons money when he doesn't want anything to do with son. yes I agree it is a control thing, but hes washed his hands of us so what is the problem, I don't think leaving him alone for a couple of months will make any difference I think he will hang on to the money or spend it for as long as he can, maybe hoping that son will contact him about it. son is adamant that he doesn't want anything to do with his dad seen as though his dad was prepared to put him on the streets. It must have hit very hard to a 12 year old to think your own father could do that to the one he was supposed to love so much, I shall continue not contacting ex because I have no reason to anymore, I shall leave it in the hands of my solicitor, I am sure she knows whats best and how to handle it. once again snodderly thanks for checking in on me
spoke to child support people this morning due to no payments from ex, they have spoke to him due to his arrears and he as told them he doesn't have a child to support. saddo bloody saddo, that is him abandoning the only child he ever had, what a jack**s. when he left he went with around 220k, he as our old home up for sale for another 150k, he as supposed to have his own business and still lives the champagne party lifestyle with new wifey, and he wont provide for his offspring and hand over offsprings bank accounts, where will it all end, I dunno but wish it would hurry up. oh and he wanted us out of our home due to the fact he couldn't afford 2 mortgages etc, well it as been stood empty now for 8 months so he still as the mortgages and double bills to pay now, I can see things going horribly wrong for this mlcer, uk is going into recession and houses aren't selling so it looks like sitting empty for a lot longer, so he would have been financialy better off letting son and I stay there until he had finished his education, but no he wanted to see the back of us.
