Originally Posted By: MichelleLT

If you read the success stories on here...you see that it is possible for them to return. It's certainly not guaranteed though.

Yeah, I know. Something happened today that's left me feeling even more exhausted than usual. He called, said lets do lunch. There was this moment during lunch where we looked into each other's eyes. There was a spark there. We didn't look away immediately. It was familiar and yet uncomfortable and wonderful and awful all at the same time. Doesn't that make sense?

My father said... is this just something you want to see. And I've asked myself the same... and nah... his reaction to it, and my gut/instinct has been bang on with him all the way through this... it's "there" for us... he's just too flippin' coward to do something about it.

Ya know,... I can see him trying to stay away from me even more now... if my reaction to that "instant" was anywhere close to his... I"M GLAD I'M ON PILLS! \:\) He's not though... bound to screw him up nicely... even more than he is, that is.

Music is like sex for me... got "feel" it in order to do a good job at it. In order to write this stuff... I have to allow myself to "be" miserable. I'm not sure I wanna allow myself there just yet. I've avoided going to the "neighborhood", being in contact with people there etc... just because I simply cannot mentally/emotionally handle it. The music and letting it all pour out is the same at the moment unfortunately.

Abbey

Last edited by Abbey; 06/30/08 10:02 PM.
T:22, M:20
H:55 Me:45
H-OW PA: N/07
OW Jan08
Bomb:Feb/08
S: Apr/08
Back together Ap1/09-Sept/11
Oct, 2011, uncertain future/H is a mess.
Dec/11 - Doin'friend mode. Some days are better than others.