____________________________________________________________ Well, just when I was feeling hopeless, W called on Saturday asking if she could visit. I had plans with friends, but told her I could cancel them. Won't do that every time, but I haven't seen W in a month. It's strange, but I've kind of reached the "screw it" stage. If she wants to come back, great. I can’t convince her, and I'm done trying. I remember reading on here that this is the point of LRT.
Her excuse was picking up some stuff, and she’d leave on Sunday. Then she added “and I really want to see you.” I had the place clean, roses on the table, and dinner ready when she arrived. She gave me a long hug and said “I just needed to be around someone who understands my headaches”. Her dad constantly forgets about them, and asks why she’s acting strange, etc. I told her I'm trying really hard to understand, and she said "you’re doing a great job".
More details later, but to make a long story short she’s staying until Tuesday
Interesting tidbits when she briefly lets her guard down. Most of the time she acts fine, talks of our M in the past tense, tells me of the great place she might rent in Houston.
"So, it looks like your doing great. (pause). I’m not." Then she started crying. I didn’t push for more, and she fell asleep shortly after.
"If we’d just waited to get married and worked on our issues first, things would have been so great."
This morning while I got ready for work, "you’ve really grown up somehow".
DB is very key here, because I expect all the things she's saying and know how to respond. She can see I've changed, but it just makes her mad that it didn't happen before. I affirm and apologize.
On phone with her friend B: "Yes, I’m with H in Dallas. Some days we're friends, others we hate each other, but today we’re friends." - I couldn’t believe this. B really hates me (according to W). B was passing through Dallas and asked if we wanted to meet her. W declined saying it would be awkward. Of course, she got off the phone and explained that B and all her friends still hate me, the offer wasn't serious, etc. Very interesting.
GAL is continuing, I played at church Sunday morning, even though I know she doesn't approve of that right now. Wasn't a big deal, she was still in the shower when I got home at 12:15.
Anyway, that's all for now, better get back to work and W. Will journal more when she leaves.
Me: 30 W: 28 T 8, M 6 S: 7-27-2007 W filed (again) 3-2011 Served 8-2011 Responded, now dark "I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear" MLK
