You shouldn't get so torn up, because your W will get the word from somewhere, she will get it from God. Keep your faith in the Lord, as your faith grows stronger in him you will become more comfortable with all the unknowns and questions you may have. This is simply because you have a reassured feeling inside you that the Lord is handling your marriage. You are already showing faith in what you say about "following the word and your prayers will be answered." I try to listen to my inner voice, to me that is the Lord speaking, but sometimes you have to listen closely. Remember God wants our obedience. I realize that is tough for all of as at times, but we have to try our best. Just keep STANDING FIRM.
Amen to that. I feel the same way. Trusting in God offers so much comfort and really seems to take the edge off for some reason. Helps me calm myself and think clearly.
Friends and clergy have always told me to place God first. I now know that to be true. If you read "Wild at Heart", by John Eldredge, it is a great read and is written for men (but really helpful for women). It explains about why women leave us. In short, men make the W "their God" and everything revolves around THEM, instead of God. We also lose a part of our masculinity in the course of things, then we become someone else altogether. There's obviously more to the book than that...great book:
My DB coach also recommended I read the female version of that book, "Captivating", by John and Staci Eldredge. A very insightful read for both the men and women on this BB:
Met my only physical friend (former co-worker) of mine at a pottery place where we painted pieces. She is really an artist, I tell you. Had an ambitious project and painted an eagle's head in side a bowl for her husband. Turned out fantastic! I cheated and used a stencil! My Dad's birthday is next month, so I painted a mug. LMAO.
Then we went to lunch where her two sons were working. Fabulous food. It was a great day. I stopped at my favorite coffee shop, again, been doing that a lot lately, and continued on reading the DR book. Almost finished with it. A lot of the Mid Life Crisis and even the Depression chapters seem to fit with my H. I tell you, I wish I had this book before our last blow out... oh well.
Tomorrow I plan to go for another bike ride. Going to be a good day for it. I used to do that about two or three times a week (but I also 'lived' closer to the trail where I could just hope on my bike and go, now I have to drive to a park with my bike. Gas is expensive, and the traffic is too busy around my parents. Just another reason I need a job! lol), and I'm predicting that I'll finish the book tomorrow. I'm not really sure what I should read next.
Sadly, there was only one job position out of the entire week that I could apply to. It's sooo sporadic. One week, I had a dozen, then it slowly whittled down each week, 6, then 3, to a few here and there. The economy is bad, I don't care what some say... it's bad. Man, something is sure to turn up and I don't think I'll be too picky about it when it comes! LMAO!!!
Patiences, yes, I am practicing A LOT of patiences all the way around... and around... and around... I usually did pretty good and tolerated pretty much a lot, but this is diffidently testing me. Yes sir re.
Okay, this is starting to really creep me out... today, I saw my BIL on the trail!!! I mean, Wed, I saw my H, today, I saw my BIL... am I being followed?
I had stopped at a picnic bench to cool down and stretch my legs before I hit 'the mountain' which is the shortest, but steepest hill on the trail and it's at the very end of the particular stretch I decided to ride. So, as I'm sitting there, enjoying my view, here comes my BIL pedaling at a slow crawl (slight incline). He was smiling, I smiled, we even said hello, and I made eye contact, something I don't have a problem doing with people... except my H at the moment, understandable. And I could tell he was looking at me, trying to figure out if it was me, etc. I just smiled and nodded.
He disappeared up the slight incline in through the winding trees. I waited about ten more minutes and decided to head up the way. I pedaled my little a$$ off up the hill, going a snail crawl, but I did it, did not have to get off my bike! I was spent!
As I finish and enter the park, there is my BIL, working out on the exercise beans, bars, and stuff they have around. It was diffidently him, because he's getting ready to deploy to Iraq in Aug. (They delayed his deployment, if I didn't mention that before... H told my Father, etc.) So, he's doing push ups, and using the crush bar, and I'm taking my gear off, putting stuff away in the truck, and he's diffidently looking at me, took three 'double-takes', watching me. But I go about my marry way.
So, what do you think? You think the next time I'm going to find my MIL & FIL walking on the trail? LOL... I mean, this is UNCANNY and really creepy.
Today I'm nervous. I need to call my MIL. Sigh... I'm not sure what to expect.
I have my Skids birthday presents still. Originally, the plan was that my Dad was going to give my SS his present and my H my SD's present this weekend when he picked up my SS to go hiking. Well, it turned out that my SS turned his ankle in soccer camp, and is now on crutches so they canceled. (All this my H told my Dad through email... at least he's 'talking' to my dad...)
My Dad was going to email my H and see if he was available to drop of the presents, but he forgot, and I think he felt awkward about it. (My mother suggested he do it because H is on 'talking' terms with him. He's the only one that seems to be having 'positive' results with H.) I certainly don't want to be the one to do it, I think that would be disastrous. But I managed to get my MIL's phone number from my SIL and asked my parents if they thought I should call MIL and drop off the presents at her home. My father thought it was an excellent idea, which would totally eliminate the awkwardness... except for me and maybe my MIL, but I don't think she would be 'mean' about it. But I'm nervous, none-the-less. I just don't know what has been mentioned or not mentioned, if my in-laws despise me. Or, hell, she could greet me with open arms, and ask me what's going on. I don't know. So, I'm nervous...
I guess I'm not really sure how to act 'as-if' on this one...
Jane, I have talked to my in-laws a couple of times, saw them in person the last time, and everything went just fine. I had planned on being positive, upbeat, and make things with me like they were going great. If I were you I would just go with "hell, she could greet me with open arms, and ask what's going on." Just use the "ACT AS IF" approach. Sounds like you are worrying yourself to much, which you really have no idea what to expect, but don't let your mind manifest these ideas before you even get there. Just let God reassure you on your trip and have some confidence, you can do it. Good luck and may God be with you.
Well, I did get in touch with my in laws. MIL was very nice. We had a good visit, but it was diffidently awkward at first. They are very sad about the out come of this, and my MIL told me that they loved me. That was a big comfort to me.
We talked for about a couple of hours 'catching up' on stuff. She told me the kids miss me. She also said that my H is very quiet. He hasn't spoken much about anything, which is understandable. We didn't talk much about what was going on, I just explained a little bit of what happened in general terms and that I was hopeful and will have an open mind, but I'm just staying out of the way.
I have a bit of sad news. My grandmother is in the hospital and is going to have heart surgery. My grandmother means a lot to me. She really was the one that went above and beyond and showed me how you love people, how you accept people, how you forgive by and through her actions. This is a woman who has a tremendous heart and open to give so many people love, kindness, and affection when they otherwise had none. She took in perfect strangers into her home, and made them strong, loving individuals, family. I believe that half of what I know, my strength and my drive comes from my grandmother... I have her tenacity. She's a strong woman and I believe that she will be okay. The doctors plan to put in a pace maker or do another procedure, I'm not sure of all the details, but there are some risks. Prayers would be greatly appreciated.
I'll be thinking about you and your Grandmother. It must have made you feel a little validated to hear that the kids miss you....I'm sure it is not going unnoticed
TwinDad Me 39, W 36, M 11 W - MLC, WAW???? 2 Kids B/G 3 YRS Old Start of the Long and Bumpy Road..... On the verge of piecing.....a new beginning
I don't know if validated is the right word. I don't know how I feel about it, honestly. I know that I love them, I miss them. But it hurts because I am not their mother, I have no ties or connection to even be 'granted' some 'visitation' rights, etc. I have no right to ask to see them and certainly there are no grounds for anyone to grant it. Yet, these two were my children. I did the best that I could and now, I just feel absolutely used. I feel utterly like my H never wanted a wife, but a babysitter. I completely feel used, like he absolutely doesn't give one rats a$$ about our marriage or me- it's all about him.
Today, I'm lost. I'm having a hard time. My mother left today, flying in to my grandmother. Grandmother is having a pace maker put in, but the Dr. wants to move her to another hospital in another city, so we're just waiting on some logistics. So far, she is doing well. There are some risks involved, but after seeing her actual Cardiologist, it looks good.
I did send a very simple, short, to the point email to my H to let him know about my grandmother... he always seems concerned whenever there were health related issues with my grandparents. Plus SS is very fond of her too. She is really the only 'great-grandparent' he's ever known. I don't expect a response from him, nor have received one either. I probably shouldn't have bothered.
I don't know if validated is the right word. I don't know how I feel about it, honestly. I know that I love them, I miss them. But it hurts because I am not their mother, I have no ties or connection to even be 'granted' some 'visitation' rights, etc. I have no right to ask to see them and certainly there are no grounds for anyone to grant it. Yet, these two were my children. I did the best that I could and now, I just feel absolutely used. I feel utterly like my H never wanted a wife, but a babysitter. I completely feel used, like he absolutely doesn't give one rats a$$ about our marriage or me- it's all about him.
Today, I'm lost. I'm having a hard time. My mother left today, flying in to my grandmother. Grandmother is having a pace maker put in, but the Dr. wants to move her to another hospital in another city, so we're just waiting on some logistics. So far, she is doing well. There are some risks involved, but after seeing her actual Cardiologist, it looks good.
I did send a very simple, short, to the point email to my H to let him know about my grandmother... he always seems concerned whenever there were health related issues with my grandparents. Plus SS is very fond of her too. She is really the only 'great-grandparent' he's ever known. I don't expect a response from him, nor have received one either. I probably shouldn't have bothered.
