Ok...I don't blame you for getting ready to move on, BUT.....
I promised you that I would remind you to be patient and so here I go. She needs some time. You are wanting her to be back with you 100% right now when she feels like she may not love you like she should. You said she might be reading those books. She probably is. Give her the benefit of the doubt. It may be the time to give her the talk about "this is what we need to do to give our marriage a chance, are you willing to do it?" She can have the feelings of the OM still, but if there is truly NC then she should be also trying to work through it all. Reading those books are crutial. Talking to you about it is crucial. Maybe having you point out some important parts in the book would help. Then, have the discussion. I think you said it has only been 2 months...right?
I have mixed feelings about the ultimatum.....I'm wondering if it is the best way to go, or the quickest way to go (for you). You want answers now and telling her that you will leave with the kids will get that answer to you fast. Could be good. Could make her see the light. But, it is not WHERE you are that matters, it is your family. If your son is a good student, he would be a good student anywhere. He is having trouble because your marriage is having trouble. That could happen anywhere. Here, there. Do you really think your W is going to wait 2 years for the OM? If she is...coudln't she move anywhere and wait for him? I agree, she needs to start working on the marriage and that talk should ensue...but that should be the focus...not you are leaving with us, or we leave without you. I don't know. That's my gut feeling on it. It could work out for you, too, though........ I guess just think a little more on it before you start that conversation that way. Don't give up on her.
