I'm one to feel it's nicer to tell them first. I've also told H that if he ever decides to file, then I'd like the respect of knowing first. I didn't want to get hit with papers that I didn't know were coming. So I'm more on board with your thinking Sugar, then how your friend wants you to do it.
I agree. I just got the papers last week and my H didn't give me any warning. It was a complete shock. I think it's a cowardly, noncourteous way of acting. They are going to find out anyway, so why not have the courtesy to give the person a heads-up. I think if there is a question always take the high road, and you won't regret that. Karen
((((Kat, Michelle, GFI, Dar, Karen)))) Thanks to all of you for your insight. I talked to my C about it and her opinion is that I have to do whatever I can live with. In 5 years I still have to look at myself in the mirror so I'm going to have to tell him first. Even after everthing that has gone on, I just don't feel right and I have to live with it, so thats what I'm going to do. Had a really hard C session on Friday and then had DS baseball game. Afterwards we (me, DD, DS and DS's best friend) went home and got ready and went to my friends house for the tail end of a work baby-shower. We hung out until 1am and it was fun. The rest of the weekend was just pretty lazy. Saturday the kids had C and then I took them to lunch and went and got all of the papergoods for DD's birthday party. We went to church and cleaned house yesterday. H hasn't been calling very much, but he spent the weekend sleeping when he wasnt working. Our conversations have been somewhat stilted, but I'm not really sure what else there is to say. I came into work for 1/2 day today and then I'll be off until next Tuesday. I need the rest. I'll check in on all of your sitches from home later.
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
I think remembering that you have to look at yourself in the mirror is a good thing. Don't lower yourself to his level. You'll be glad, when you can hold your head up, no matter what happens.
((((Jeff))))I'm pretty sure there aren't enough ropes or pulleys to lower myself close to his level. What is it they say about lying down with dogs...or Trolls?
I just don't choose to be deceptive and sneaky. Now am I going to volunteer that it'll be a cold day in hell before I put his name back on that house and that in the event the house is ever sold, the $40,000.00 he has spent on his "relationship vacation" will be credited to me first? Ummmm, not today! That may be a conversation better had AFTER the papers are signed, if ever. Oh well....
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
