Ok let's see if I can respond to some of the posts here-
Karen- Yes, still in that withdrawal state and still have the chemicals working on my head with the love toward OM.
Mark- Ok, I feel like I had a romantic relationship with OM so it feels real. Since it lasted longer than a year, and I was separated at the time, it feels very real. Om participated in a R with me because he knew I had been separated for 3 years and I explained I was headed toward D.
Sandi- thanks for your posts and checking in on me. I feel your support always.
Root- depending on religious beliefs, all sins are equal in the eye of the Lord. I agree what you said about guilt. My priest explained that guilt is your conscience helping you along, it helps you know the path to choose. He said having a little bit of guilt is a good thing, it is when there is no guilt that there are problems. Ye with no sin be the first to cast stones said the Lord when the prostitute came in front of him. Everyone walked away and the Lord told her she was forgiven and to sin no more...shortened version.
As for me................well...............nothing new to tell. Still try to stop thoughts of OM, still try to be kind to H, and do things together. Still in a depression. Still counting the days until Retrouvaille.
I'm reading other's situations, though, and it is very disheartening. Thank God, my H is not giving up on me and is giving me time to work through this. It would be very easy for me and him to give up....much easier and short term, we would BOTH be much happier.....I'm sooo hoping we get to that next level of love that we want to get to.......the limbo is awful, but I'm fighting it, and my H is being very patient.
