WOW!! progress w H? Keeping my PMA

[pisces9]

my H has been a cop for 8 yrs.
he actually JUST promoted to SGT less than one month before the bomb.

it took him two tries and finally made it- i think that led to his depression and MLC issues.

h is very withdrawn but not really a "cop cop"...but they see so much stuff at work it is impossible not to let it affect you...

there is VERY little of any support in that field.

all they do to "relax" is serious athletics- very intense training- which is good...to an extent...

OR DRINK! with everyone after work to "relax"...also a very high rate of affairs and suicide.


sad.


i put up with so many shits changes and late hors, missed days off etc and NEVER complained...i was always happy to see him....i also always heard his stories and scary incidents...

oh well- im sure he misses that

[pisces9]

ps. yes Ms Ladybug- we are suspects too- that is so true- that makes a lot of sense.
My H said on our BIG talk/walk last week that he "thinks" that cops are "very private" people about their personal issues and dont share a lot...i think he was referring to himself but it was a god opening up for him...

[pisces9]

Input please! feedback, adice, support, smiles, anything! ha!
my H texted me today for lunch- I had plans for lunch to meet some girlfriends...so i said that and how about tonight? he is going away for the weekend so he said next week? i am out of town next week for meetings w my co..so i said late next week works he replied w have fun and some healthy, funny banter back and forth. i felt good that i had plans and wasnt available but i made him feel accepted too. it is a werid feeling to not be available. i hope this creates him missing me more..im sure it will. he didnt seem that excited to go away for the weekend (to our cabin that is in escrow)...I just want to hug him but i do feel good that he reached out to me...i do feel happy and had a great luch w my gfriends- laughed so much!

"Keep on truckin' "
Will Farrell
Old School
(if you know what scene im talking about we can be friends)

[girlfromipanema]

Input please! feedback, adice, support, smiles, anything! ha!

I'm proud of you, pisces. You seem to be doing so well. Your strength, confidence and PMA are inspiring. No advice, but one question and then some smilies. Q: Earlier in your thread you mentioned your DB coach suggested an option other than therapy. Do you mind sharing her/his suggestion? Now for some smiles:

"Keep on truckin' "
Will Farrell
Old School
(if you know what scene im talking about we can be friends)

Anything with Will Farrell is my favorite movie of all time. We can soooo be friends. Stay classy.

[pisces9]

thanks for all the funny faces! i just needed to feel heard..!
well my DB coach had said that it is too early to even suggest therapy... that happens in the building romance stage of reconciling. right now im in the building friendship phase and i hope my H will follow me out of the letting go of resentments phase...ive just gotten out of there myself...so i need to lead this one! also- therapy may not be where he would go- maybe a church marriage seminar, books, or??? i am open to anything- he is very private so we shall see...i now have learned form reading enough of these posts that when we lead they can follow and will if we have patience- so we worrying about him needing to change is sort of moot for now-i think his actions will tell m if he has changed WHEN he wants to discuss more R and pursue me a bit more.
My DB coach made me realize to not go too dark with my H bc that wasnt what was needed for him other wise he would feel like a schmuck for getting rejected sll the time by me and that would not help my sitch at all...


ANYWHO- i feel good for now and i need to keep up my PMA! maybe another will movie!

we're goin streakin'- meet me in the quad!
:-) :0) :^)

[Neilh23]

Pisces...hows it going? haven't heard from you in a couple of days....is that a good thing???????

[pisces9]

Hi Neil-
thanks for checking on me
i tried to take a few days off to give myself a break...this weekend was up and down. My H sent me text messages and i feel he is reaching out to me- but not very straight forward. i dont want to read anything into them...but i am.

hew was at our cabin with a friend this weekend and i texted him w a message that i got at home for him- he said thx and told me his whole day plan...a little later he emailed me just saying he missed it up there....

now to me this is a very big sign bc that is our cabin where we spent a lo of wonderful times together....i just replied and said i know enjoy it up there and have fun!

so i feel sad bc he wont come out and tell em he misses me- and i feel glad bc he says he misses the cabin (which i feel means me)... funny thing is he was at the cabin so house so how could he miss it? i guess the thought of selling it...

anyway- i am feeling very needy and a little desperate and i want so badly to see him. he wants to hang out this week when i get back from LA so hopefully he will reach out to me.

also- Neil i posted my goals that you asked for in my other thread...tell me if those are good enough

ill check your latest now .... Pisces

[Neilh23]

i know. i feel the same way alot. however, as forrest has said to me....your H misses you, but doesn't miss your old relationship. Does that make sense?

let him reach out to you...but don't appear too desperate!

[pisces9]

yes- that makes a lot of sense and i can feel him softening...i can tell he doesn't miss the old R and neither do I.

so I will let him reach out to me...i just get worried that he doesnt know how much i miss him/ need him sometimes- but i have made it very clear that i want us to work so he does know this- i just hate feeling so lonely.

every day is a little hard for me to get out of bed t start the day but once i do its ok and the day goes pretty well....then evening is hard too.

i know that GAL will hep and it has but there is till a lot of alone time.

some of it is ok- some of it SUCKS.

just veinting!

[Neilh23]

i understand...it is difficult getting up in the morning sometimes and being lonely....I've tried recently to do alot more htings to keep myself busy..GAL for sure!

you're right...some of it does SUCK. big time. however, if we want to achieve something, the easy route isn't always the right route!