Good morning everyone, The Question for the day is: When my W comes over in the morning to watch the kids, she asks how was your weekend, what did you and the kids do this weekend, etc. Blah Blah Blah !!! How do you respond
A. Be friendly and go into detail about what a wonderful weekend you had (even if you didn't have a good weekend). B. Be friendly and give her the details about your weekend good and the bad C. Ignore her and go about your business give her no details about anything D. Ignore her questions, throw crap at her (whatever is handy) and run out the door yelling Free at last! free at last! thank God Almighty, I'm free at last!
I really want to know, I feel bad not telling her what we did this weekend, and on the other hand, I want to throw crap at her and tell her to go jump in the lake (to put it mildly)
Sara, I will pray for you, I know you are scared, but I also know you are a very strong individual and a very good person, You will get through this. FYI my MIL is a little crazy also, called me a saint (crazy) told me I was probably better off without my W. Sara, I have to believe that both you and I will be better off.
I have been starting to think God is helping me get rid of something bad in my life, because He didn't want me to suffer anymore. He knew what W was doing, what she was hiding (OM, credit card debt, etc.), how she was treating me and the kids. How she was making me worry all the time. (Interesting Perspective)
We all have a long haul ahead of us, good or bad it's the path we choose in life that's important.
M45 W41 M10 3/4 years D9, D6, D6, S5 OM confirmed 12/07 merry christmas to me WAM (Walk Away Mom) 05/31/08 Date I'll forgive W for A = never
If you are done with her, just give her the pertinent info that she needs to know about her kids (bug bites, behavior issues, etc.) to be a good mom, other than that, nothing.
If you want her back I'd say, "(First all of the pertinent info.) And, since we are separated and you want a divorce that's all we need to discuss." It may start a discussion, but so what. You discuss how you have no desire to be her buddy through this. You are her husband and if she does not want to be your wife you can't just go being buds like nothing ever existed. You will be civil and a good dad and not stress the kids out, but you have no intention of being her best friend if she is leaving you. That's a conflict of interest. You can't go from husband to "just friends". You can be polite and civil, though.
I have been starting to think God is helping me get rid of something bad in my life, because He didn't want me to suffer anymore. He knew what W was doing, what she was hiding (OM, credit card debt, etc.), how she was treating me and the kids. How she was making me worry all the time. (Interesting Perspective)
I think there is really something in that and I can really relate. A couple of days before H revealed all and we decided to call it a day, I got this feeling (call it God spoke to me if you want...) that God had heard my case, that it had come up before Him. I think it was time for the whole thing to end and I had gone through enough. A little time has gone by for me and I can see the silver lining in this...
I think that deception leaks out, even if we, the deceived are not aware of it. Her behaviour would have affected how she was with you, and how you ended up being. I have spent the last 15.5 years being anxious, fearful, a worrier, and it's not attractive. I used to think that was just me... now I'm wondering who I am without H.
If you met her now, knowing what you know, would she still be your choice?
Me:36 M:16 D final: 08/09 Ds:10&5 Ss:8&3 Bomb 3xPA 200 sexual encounters 15/06/08
I believe I will opt for Kat's (E) Tell her you had a good weekend, no details and go about your business. Reason, I want W to know I had a good weekend (The kids and I normally do)without her and that I'm doing fine, but I don't want to go into details, like we were friends or something.
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whatdidido: You can't go from husband to "just friends". You can be polite and civil, though.
You are correct, she is trying to act like friends. I know this girl and there is no way (even if she felt this way) that she would admit her guilt and ask about reconciliation. There is no way that she would put forth the effort required to reconnect with me and rebuild our marriage. I
H4H, I did basically C ignored her, she asked what we did this weekend and I said "oh a bunch of stuff" and then I turned an left.
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happycamper: If you met her now, knowing what you know, would she still be your choice?
No, I would run for the hills as quick as I could.
We all have a long haul ahead of us, good or bad it's the path we choose in life that's important M45 W41 M10 3/4 years D9, D6, D6, S5 OM confirmed 12/07 merry christmas to me WAM (Walk Away Mom) 05/31/08 Date I'll forgive W for A = never
If you are done with her, just give her the pertinent info that she needs to know about her kids (bug bites, behavior issues, etc.) to be a good mom, other than that, nothing.
If you want her back I'd say, "(First all of the pertinent info.) And, since we are separated and you want a divorce that's all we need to discuss." It may start a discussion, but so what. You discuss how you have no desire to be her buddy through this. You are her husband and if she does not want to be your wife you can't just go being buds like nothing ever existed. You will be civil and a good dad and not stress the kids out, but you have no intention of being her best friend if she is leaving you. That's a conflict of interest. You can't go from husband to "just friends". You can be polite and civil, though.
happycamper: If you met her now, knowing what you know, would she still be your choice?
No, I would run for the hills as quick as I could. To clarify, why I would run; so many lies and I'm not just talking about OM, she is also very vain about her looks, she cannot handle kids, and she is always looking at what other people have or do, not content with what she has.
Came home from work today, W in a dress, wow, I went downstairs to get my work clothes on (yard work tonight) I stayed down there until she was ready to leave, she didn't, she called me up and told me she was going on her interview tonight, I told her she looked good and that she would do great on her interview - I hate being nice to her, I just want to throw crap at her and kick her out the door. - sorry for venting
We all have a long haul ahead of us, good or bad it's the path we choose in life that's important
M45 W41 M10 3/4 years D9, D6, D6, S5 OM confirmed 12/07 merry christmas to me WAM (Walk Away Mom) 05/31/08 Date I'll forgive W for A = never
Karen