I believe that your comments are very logical but, for me, the emotional side of me couldn't deal with a situation where I was running around with a "girl friend" behind my wife's back. I also couldn't see having a girl friend who met all of my needs and still be married to my wife, even if my wife was accepting of the situation.
I am convinced that my wife's sex drive disappeared as a result of menopause and that in her current and future state she will not have any sex drive without some kind of medical intervention. I believe she loves me. What I don't understand is why she is so reluctant to consider my needs at all. We have talked numerous times about the sex needs of males and what a natural and powerful force this is. We have talked about my desperate desire to have my touch needs met every once and a while and she understands the extent of my frustration. Having said all of that, she remains steadfast in her position that she does not want to have any form of sex life with me, apart from the twice yearly wifely duty (only if absolutely necessary). I have read a number of posts from low desire women who express they had similar attitudes and I am left wondering why there couldn't be any attempt on the wife's part to reach a mutually agreeable situation. I don't understand why the low desire wife refuses to make any kind of effort unless confronted with divorce (and this threat may or may not motivate a change). This situation does not appear to be uncommon. I have even less understaniding where the reverse situation is true - ie where the male is the low desire spouse.
Anyway, you seem to be in a somewhat similar situation to me and your hostility to the situation is probably even greater than mine. I wish I wasn't getting so pissed off with the situation, but after 10 years in this predicament, I just can't help it. I have contemplated for many years the idea of leaving my wife because of a total absence of a sex life, but when it comes to that crucial time to start on that path, I just can't pull it off. Sounds like you won't have the same difficulty if things don't turn around - let's hope your marriage doesn't come to that ending.
