Good call on just making it nice "for you" rather than staying angry about it. I know that "cleaning because I'm PO'd" feeling and it's not so fun.
I'm glad he noticed (even if it was blatantly obvious ) and that he said something.
Me 35, H 38; Together 13.5 yrs, M 7 Bomb 1 10/07/06 Sep'd 1/14/07 - 4/15 Piecing: 4/07 - 9/07 Bomb 3 10/11/07: Never loved you, let's separate 2/08 slowly improving 7/08 Piecing (7/25/08 rings back on!!) Current thread
Geez, SD, Sometimes the stuff you think is cause for a party makes my man cookies want to crawl up somewhere and hide...
Glad he came around a bit, even if it didn't include actually HELPING!
For the record, I do believe it was one of your brethren who indicated a desire to watch, then Nikki joined in, so I kind of *had* to have a party. It wasn't all man cookies, just H's. *grin*
Actually, he took some time off of "work" to come get his crap from upstairs and sort it...his stuff that was mucking up the joint. So, he kinda helped.
I was a lot worked up because he seemed annoyed that I was cleaning up and asked him a question about getting rid of something we never use...hence the entertaining retort.
And apparently, now he's going to work to keep it clean since he knows *I* am serious and am going to keep it up. Whatever happened to personal responsibility?
I'm really not that annoyed any more. More puzzled. Like the fate of our home's organization rests on my shoulders, and if I'm a slob, he gets to use me as an excuse for being a slob too. Dork.
How are all you people doing? Haven't seen an update in a while, Rob (or Jeff!!!)...
SD
Me: 40 H: 43 H had EA from 2/06-9/06 Bomb 5/06 Piecing since 9/2006 3/2008: Boundary setting 7/2009: Boundary crossing~dropped my own bomb. 8/2010: Marriage finally on track!
Those Chinese almond cookies are pretty good..you know..the one with the almond in the middle? Fortune cookies bash up nicely. Wonder what his fortune says?
Hang in. FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
H says he never made it a priority b/c he thought I didn't want people over.
GRRRRRRRRRRR! This sounds so familiar - his UK twin comes out with things like that, although far, FAR less these days.
I dealt with it by saying (something along the lines of) "you make an assumption about me then go and act on that assumption. I've asked you many, many times not to do that. I don't know what else I can do but ask you not to make assumtions about me, please just ask". Then I shut up.
he still has an annoying habit of saying "I didn't know what you wanted to do tonight" instead of (the much more direct and my preference of) "what do you want to do tonight?". The first one makes him sound to me like some kind of victim.
But I keep thinking (said in Yoda voice) "they are young. But they will learn".
Keep your chin up lass
Bomb (ILYBINILWY, don't want to be married)Sept05 Seperated Sept/Oct 05 Oct 06 - H recomitted July 11 - I am now a WAW.
he still has an annoying habit of saying "I didn't know what you wanted to do tonight" instead of (the much more direct and my preference of) "what do you want to do tonight?". The first one makes him sound to me like some kind of victim.
Attractive men tell YOU what they've ARRANGED to be done or suggest somethings that YOU like to do. I'll never wake up on a weekend and NOT know what to do with my family. FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
Those Chinese almond cookies are pretty good..you know..the one with the almond in the middle? Fortune cookies bash up nicely. Wonder what his fortune says?
Hang in. FIB
Yes, yes they do. Funny enough, H got a fortune cookie the other day that had no fortune. Mine said something awesome was coming my way. I say it's karma!
I've been following your sitch, FIB, I just don't have anything to offer. I say, do what feels right to you, and then get busy making yourself happy. You've been through a lot.
SD
Me: 40 H: 43 H had EA from 2/06-9/06 Bomb 5/06 Piecing since 9/2006 3/2008: Boundary setting 7/2009: Boundary crossing~dropped my own bomb. 8/2010: Marriage finally on track!
he still has an annoying habit of saying "I didn't know what you wanted to do tonight" instead of (the much more direct and my preference of) "what do you want to do tonight?". The first one makes him sound to me like some kind of victim.
Attractive men tell YOU what they've ARRANGED to be done or suggest somethings that YOU like to do. I'll never wake up on a weekend and NOT know what to do with my family. FIB
I totally agree with you. H used to do this when he was courting me. He still does this with vacation planning...we start with talking about what we'd like to get out of a trip, narrow it down to a few locations, then we pick. He then does all the research, narrows it down, and asks for my input on where we stay and what we do. It works well for us--I'm a global thinker, and he's one of those detail guys who kicks *ss at Trivial Pursuit.
But...I'd like to be swept off of my feet now and again. That's the part that still rubs a bit post LW. It's the little stuff that matters....
SD
Me: 40 H: 43 H had EA from 2/06-9/06 Bomb 5/06 Piecing since 9/2006 3/2008: Boundary setting 7/2009: Boundary crossing~dropped my own bomb. 8/2010: Marriage finally on track!
) and that he said something.
