Hope4us struggle, part 6

[Hope4us]

I feel so good right now. I think I've come to realize that it was doing the best thing for my kids was what was keeping me in the situation we're in and now that they've both told me they realize how F'd up their mom is right now and that it would probably be best if we moved without her so she can figure out just what she wants in life, I feel great.

Don't get me wrong. I'm sad that it's come to this. I really am, but I've been fighting this for over a year (when I first suspected) and so far WW has done nothing but lie, cheat and rub her affair in my nose. And since she's claimed NC with OM, she still hasn't done anything to lead me to believe she even remotely understands what she's done.

You can read our conversation from Sat if you haven't, but I again reiterated that I would take responsibility for the things in our marriage that she was unhappy with and I was working on those things and wanted to move forward in a marriage where we're both happy, but her response is just reinforcing what I've suspected all along, that she's either still in contact with OM or she just doesn't "get it" and has not/will not take any responsibility for her selfish reasons for having an affair.

And I can't/won't continue to live like this. The way I feel right now I'm going to tell her that I don't think it's a good idea for her to move with us. I think she needs time alone to really figure out what she wants. If she thinks her life is without me and the kids, so be it. If she thinks the POS is her life, have fun, but I'm not going to allow her to move with us unless she really shows me she understands her part in this and REALLY wants to work on the marriage.

And it's quite liberating when you get to this point.

Beginning Sat afternoon I pretty much shut down after I talked to the kids. It wasn't a shutdown with a purpose. I just pretty much figured out I don't even like the person she's become and really don't have much to say to her. Sunday morning she got up and came out on the deck where I was sitting and didn't say a word to me. I went grocery shopping and when I came home she made some salad. I grilled out and she tried to make small talk with me, but I really just wasn't in the mood. I went to bed to watch t.v. pretty early last night. I just couldn't stand being in the same room with her. This morning, nothing was said. When I went downstairs there was a note with my wallet that said "do you have any stamps?" WTF? She couldn't just ask me? Don't care.

S16 told me he was going to ask her if she was moving with us either today or tomorrow. When he does I'll tell her that I don't think she should move because she needs to figure out what she wants and see what she says.