New thread, new phase?

[TwinDad]

Julia,

Sounds like an excellent 180 and a great place to build dialog and friendship together. It will also shwo that you are letting go of the resentment.

I know exactly what it is like to resent your spouses career (it is a lose-lose situation). I used to drop my W off at work drive another hour to my work then stop at her work on the way home and wait for her for a couple of hours. We did this for about 5 years. Then when we would go out it would be to social events or with friends from her work....I didn't look very happy at these events. I basically came to resent everything about her career because it was sucking the life out of us.

I do feel though letting go of the resentment has taken a burden off of me. It helps that she sees just what impact it has had as well. You are right though, these things are a 50/50 fault.

When I get in situations like this, I try to look at the positves. In your case, your H had bought you this nice bike...it wasn't in yet, but he did put some thought into it and you seem to be pretty proud of the bike. Also he was sensitive to how you were feeling and arranged for a pic-nic and a show when he saw the disappointment. This isn't to let him off the hook, but perhaps see the other side. A couple years ago my W's birthday tantrum resulted in me consulting a lawyer to eductae my self in the D process....not a good chain of events.