I've come full circle/LTA & MLC 7/8

[hopeful4her]

The same went for us, kat. Puppy pointed out "enmeshment" to me. I don't think that I had ever heard that term before he mentioned it. It fit us to a T.

With all the family issues that she had in her past(mother had 3 different kids with 3 different men, inappropriate touching from dad whom I later find out is not her dad. She does not know this, but suspects), and my issue of parents always fighting, alcoholic dad who always stayed out at bars. We over did the family thing. In the beginning, we had a common goal of making sure our kids NEVER went through the things that we went through.

Living 25 minutes out of town also had an effect that I did not intend. The hill country was great to raise the kids, but isolated us from most of friends and family. Hard to find babysitter for our kids, too. We were all too attached.

I later discovered that it was ME and not her that really has been trying to keep things together. Nearly the whole time. Things were easy in the beginning. It was after the kids. She would say that it was her trying for years and that she just gave up. Untrue. Maybe its true that she feels like she never truly loved me. Like I was only the guy who was the stable one to love her and care for her and her 6 month old son. I was 30 and she was only 20.

With all that I have discovered about her actions these past two years, it is amazing that I would still WANT her as my wife. I have told her that I forgive her and that trust rebuilds, but really thinking about it, I just don't know anymore.


Anyway, I think if and when we can finally take ourselves out of the picture, like we really should, they are going to fall apart.
Because Lodo is right. Our efforts are not appreciated and our niceness falls on deaf ears.

Sorry, I got on a roll. Thats what I do on my thread

BTW, a Trekkie fan? You are the whole package