H4H - I can't be cool in these days. I am too busy and that, strangely, makes me more lonely and weak. I miss my kids and my family.... an my W. I know, I know.... but when I get home dead tired and I and nobody is there it hits me badly. I got in another argument with W, obviously about relation, she is so over me that I can't believe it. I asked her what does she hope to build with OM. He is never going to be family. She answered that he has ALL the things that I don't have...wow. A frontal impact with a truck at full speed would have been less painful. But hey I asked for it! In a tiny moment where I could recollect myself I said to her to imagine us walking at the beach, with our two big kids waking in front of us, look at each other and be proud to have raised, such wonderful creatures. This I think had a tiny impact on her, for 30 seconds, but that was it. I feel angry, lonely, betrayed.... mainly angry. Anyway the roller coaster is heading down, I am looking forward to the moment is going to go up again.
