I have the same deal with how I handle the A info regarding the D. I have told only a very select few. Very close friends and family. I handle the why are you getting a D question with "ask my STXW" when the truth comes out later (it always does) I get a double positive in that I did not badmouth her and she has to chose to lie or come clean herself to all the folks who asked about the D. My experience has been that I feel better when I take the the high road or what I call God's path. Churning that bitterness cannot be good for you. Focus on you. Go on a date. Get your hair done. Don't even worry about him.
I respect your opinion, but for me telling people is the best thing I can do for myself. I felt like for 8 months I was part of the lie and now I am honest and open about everything that I have been keeping inside and it is a big relief.
Tomorrow is a big, scary day. At 3:30 I go to the lawyer with my H and the 3 of us go over the settlement and if he signs it then it is offical. I will be legally divorced on Tuesday. He still will have a certain about of days to get his things out of the house and move out, but I will be divorced. If he doesn't sign the settlement then this will drag on and on through the court and it will me months. I am scared. At the same time I want him to sign and I don't want him to sign. But I know that him signing is the best thing. But you know there is this part of me that just wants to hold onto him, even though he is just a shell of who he used to be. I wish you all could have gotten to know the man I married and not the strange girl tshirt wearing freak I talk of now. He was really a great guy. I have so many wonderful memories that no one can take from me. So everyone please think of me because I am scared out of my mind about tomorrow.
Sara
Me-31 H-38 M: 5 yrs T: 7 yrs No kids Went to Prostitutes 10-1-06 Found out about OW 12-24-07 Bomb on EA/PA: 1-2-08 OW ended it with H "for good" 3-8-08 OW is back 4-19-08 H and OW tell me that they are in love 5-19-08 Filed for divorce 6-5-08 Divorced 7-2-08
Good luck, Sara. I will be thinking about you. By the way, there is a situation similar to yours in the book Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert. You might enjoy reading about it.
I felt the same way. we settled 06/08. I didn't want to but I just couldn't afford not to. I only had 1 attorney, but she ended up having two. Her first attorney gave up, her second saw that this was going know where and decided to settle. My attorney agreed, and indicated to me that we should settle. I didn't want to, but I had no choice due to finances. We settled before trail. It has taken me all this time to finally realize that we are divorced, but for her, she posted on her myspace account "I am finally free". Goes to show what to other WAS really thinks.
I also felt good talking it out about me issues. I went to a divorcecare group after she filed and served me. I have been in that group for about 2hrs now. The more you talk about it, the more you will feel relieved of the situation.
I also felt good talking it out about me issues. I went to a divorcecare group after she filed and served me. I have been in that group for about 2hrs now. The more you talk about it, the more you will feel relieved of the situation.
I got busy and haven't kept up with your sitch as much as I should have. I'm so sorry you're at this point, but don't get too caught up in what seems like a finality.
This isn't the ending, but an opportunity for you to find someone who's willing to put as much energy into making things last as you are. The world is your oyster! Never forget that.
((((Sara)))) You take care of you. This road we have been given isn't an easy one.
Sending good thoughts and "better" tomorrows for you. *hug* Abbey
T:22, M:20 H:55 Me:45 H-OW PA: N/07 OW Jan08 Bomb:Feb/08 S: Apr/08 Back together Ap1/09-Sept/11 Oct, 2011, uncertain future/H is a mess. Dec/11 - Doin'friend mode. Some days are better than others.
