The thing with the mail reminds me of another stitch. It can get blown way out of proprotion. I understand your feelings about it and it is the downside of you still living the the house that both of you shared. She still thinks she has a right to go in as she pleases. She probably hasn't given it a thought, where if you had an apartment or another house, she may think of it completely differently b/c she had never lived there. But that is one of those small things you don't want to sweat. It's not worth it.
As for the phone calls or text messages, I would try to do like the DR book says and stay detatched from that. I know it is so hard for you b/c you need to hear her voice, but try to look at the big picture and see the end results. The suffering you are going through now by missing her and not being able to talk to her will be worth it in the end when she comes back home.
She needs to "miss you" and she can't if you are always calling or emailing and texting. See what I mean? Just wait until it is time to get the child to say a few polite words and not get into R talks. Those are the time you want to look good and be on your best behavior. Give her time and space. That is the hardest thing for men to do when their W's leave. If they could just do that one thing, then they would have a much great chance in their W's returning home. Try to keep that in mind when you are wanting to call her so badly.
This is just my opinion, but I don't think God is necessarily testing you. We have troubles and problems as a result that is mostly due to our own bad decisions.....not because God is testing us. However, He will guide us out of those problems and do what is best for us if we will continue to stay in His Will and trust Him to work it out.
Take care, Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
