Is it true?

[artteach]

Hi Stella,
Thanks for writing to me last time. I am still in newcomers, but plan on moving over soon. I demended that my H stop seeing, calling and talking to OW, that did not work. He needed to stop it on his own. After I found out about OW he went to see her and then came home and then left again and I checked his cell phone records, he had been talking to her for hours and hours at a time!! He then called me on the 19th to tell me that he is coming home and wants to work it out. We talked a lot, about her, about everything. Still no sex (although I am not sure I want it not - part of me wants him to want it so I can reject him - not too passive aggressive) today we talked and I asked if he had been talking to her - he said no, I asked if she had called and he said, yes a lot but I am not answering and he said he loves me. I did ask if he ever plans on kissing me again (figured I would start with that) and he said of course. When he came home after deciding to end it with OW, he said he needs me to be patient. That was hard, we had a great sex life and now all I can do is think about them and why does he not want me anymore? I am trying not to take it personal (hard not to) but being patient. Everyone here tells me that intimancy after an affair takes time - trying to wait it out.
Oh yeah, at first I wanted to so bad bad mouth her and the one time I did he defended her so I backed off and he is begining to get annoyed with her and one night kept refering to her as a "whore" I just lisented, did not disagree, but did not encourage. I think my H and maybe yours needs to figure it out on their own. Hard to keep being postive and supportative when it hurts so bad inside, but I am seeing some baby steps. Hopefully we can keep moving forward. Tonight I said after I asked about OW, phone calls and what he is doing, "I hope you know that I won't be like this forever" and he said he knows and that he is going to be as patient as he can but becasue we never had that type of checking up on you constantly relationship he may get mad from time to time but will try not to.