Wife Filed And I Need Help With Busting ASAP

[Scott123]

Well, today she texted me that she needed money and she used
the kids as an excuse like I knew she would.

"I need 100 dollars of the child support so I can get
gas and things from the store."

I did not respond right away and she left a voice mail that
basically said the same thing, but she sounded annoyed.

I texted back and said I would bring it over in a bit.

I went over, hung out with the kids for a bit (she was upstairs)
and then I went up in our room and she said she had a migraine.
She eventually came down and I gave her the cash and said
I needed a receipt for it. She seemed a tad annoyed at that,
but gave me one. I asked "Is it ok if I go with you guys
to the kids game" and she said "um, alright I guess" but then
a minute later she said she did not want me going with her.
I said why? She then went out for a smoke and just said
"because I don't want to be around you at all." She was
getting hostile now and just really cold.

I bluntly asked if there was a problem with our friendship and
she said no. I said then what's the big deal if I go to
their game. She said "well before you never wanted to go to
their games (not really true, I've gone to lots of their
game, but during this last episode I was really anti-social
and had bad social anxiety) I said you're right, but now I want
to be there. I then validated her and told her I take full
responsibility for my actions and know that I had a lot of
problems to overcome and really neglected her and the
girls. Told her I'm feeling so much better now and
wanted to go to their game.

She said "You've done a lot of crap and I'm not ready to
be friends with you now, I have to get over all of this"

(Not sure what she meant by "all of this" if she meant the
divorce or just stuff from the past. I did not ask her. Not
sure if that was a positive or negative comment.)

I dropped it and just said "ok I understand, I'll just go then."
She thanked me for the money and gave me the kids schedule
for the rest of the games this year.

The sad thing is that the kids overheard this and they seemed
really sad. She was being a total jerk.

I was devastated. I feel like someone kicked me in the
stomach.

On a side note - I know I should probably not have given her
actual cash, but I did not want to start an argument about
money or get into casino talk or R talk so I figured I would
just give it to her for now without question.

She usually goes to the casino on Sundays so if she ends up
there tonight or tomorrow spending some of the money I gave
her for the kids then we have a problem. I think she will
end up there. Her sis is going to call me later if she goes
out and I'll drive by to see if her car is there.

If she is there... I guess I'm going to have to tell her in
the future when she asks for money that I'll get what she
needs and cannot give her cash because I saw all the charges
on our bank statements for the casino.

I expect her to attack me and get angry if that scenario
happens, but what else can I do?

I'm like stuck between a rock and a hard place here with this
casino and guilt crap.

She did break down to me ONE time in the past about the casino.
This was the last time we were separated in feb and right
before we got back together. She was crying really bad
and saying she felt so guilty because of all the gambling
and said she was afraid to say anything. (I actually
already knew about it so it was not really much of a surprise
to me.) I wish she would just crash already and admit it
to "somebody" already. She hides it and lies to everyone.

I know this damn gambling and guilt is at least half of
the problem with her attitude and actions.

One thing against me too is our state only has a 90 day wait
for divorce and it's already been almost a month.

I told the girls today that I would be starting to get their
new rooms fixed up and they were excited. (I told them before
I had the above talk with my wife.) Now I'm wondering if I should
just stay away from that idea or if I should go and work
on the house. I mean my W can avoid me if I'm around, but
I don't want to keep getting her mad by me being there. I
will be there to work on the house, not to talk to her,
but she is really screwed up and I can see her just getting
pissed off at me. Any advice on that?

The house needs a lot of work and if its left to go much longer
it's just going to keep getting worse. The girls are sharing
a room now so I know it's really affecting their moods
because they don't have their own room so it causes a lot
of conflict.

Right now I feel taken advantage of slightly, like she is
just going to walk all over me especially for money. I was
talking to a friend and I told him I feel like putting my
foot down and saying enough is enough if she asks me
for cash again and I know she went to the casino. He said
he agreed that I needed to draw the line and tell her already
that enough with the casino, tell her I saw all the charges
on the bank statement, saw that there's no more money left in
the account and refuse to accept blame that she cannot go on
D's trip because of me. It has NOTHING to do with me and
everything to do with the casino.

Not sure what to do in that regard either. I mean I don't
want to get in a fight with her or get her angry, but
I also don't want to sit and take this crap and have
her constantly try and blame me for all these money
issues that are hers alone.

- Scott