Last night my husband texted me about the money thing again, apparently a check went through that he was not expecting and now he is saying he wants me to pay the taxes on my own (so not going to happen) and something about a notice saying our kicker check is being delayed for up to another six weeks (thanks for calling and telling me four days ago when the letter came in the mail).
Anyways I called him because I hate having long conversations via text messages. He was all angry on the phone and just being a jack*** in general. I tried to stay calm but eventually he got the best of me and I lost it. We argued for a good fifteen mintues and then he hung up on me. I called him back like a million times and texted him so we could figure this stupid thing out so I can get him out of my life for awhile. I was really trying to go dark and see what would happen but he won't let me because he keeps dragging this money stuff up.
Finally I got ahold of him again like half an hour later and we argued some more. It came out that he is finding out on Monday how much of a loan he is getting to put a down payment on a house! I have only been out of our apartment for a week and he is getting a loan! He is such a jerk. . .wow. . .anyways I have wanted him to get a better job so we could buy a house together since day 1 of our marriage but he never found the ambition and yet now he is willing to go and buy one so his beer buddies can come and live with him. He is such an IDIOT!
Sorry I am ranting I just can't handle how stupid he is. We're scrambling to pay our taxes off and yet he thinks it is a good time for him to buy a house? It's just a huge slap in the face to me.
When I remind him of the fact that buying a house is a huge commitment and he could not even commit to our marriage he said "well I figure a house won't nag me"
I swore at him and told him I am filing papers and then I hung up. . .
Wow. The whole thing just hurts too much. In my head I know this man is too immature and stupid and that I should not logically want a relationship with anyone like him but my heart is like "please want me back." Why am I so stupid? Why can't I shut off my emotions and just get over him. He is so not worth my time and he is not worth all the love and devotion I have given him over the years. And yet here I am getting all pissed off about it again. It should not matter. But it does.
The biggest thing I have to face now is the fact that if he does buy a house and borrow money and if it goes badly (which it will since he is getting this loan from/with his father who is a greedy SOB that has no morals whatsoever or any concept of family all he sees is the bottom line. . .not to mention that he already screwed us out of a house he said he would help us with when we first got married) I will be held responsible for my half as his wife. So now legal things are coming into play. I need to either file for a legal seperation so he cannot wreck my good credit or I need to just file the divorce papers and get it over with.
When I moved out I was not wanting to file any papers because I wanted it to be easy for us to get back together because I thought that was what was going to happen. I asked him to give us time and space so we could figure things out. I simply requested that he not date anyone until we were officially divorced and he somewhat agreed to that and I also requested that neither one of us make any major financial decisions while seperated since we would still be legally married (he had talked about this house thing before and that is why I asked him not to then and again last night) but he is not willing to agree to that. When I asked him why he could not just move into an apartment for 6 months and see how things went naturally he said it would be pointless to rent for 6 months when the money could be going towards a house. What have we been doing for the last two years?!?! I'm so ticked.
What should I do? I feel so angry and depressed and lost all at the same time. Can anyone help me figure this mess out?
