For the Guy with kids and a WW5

[hopeful4her]

Puppy, I know it was not the right thing to bring up. I was beating around the bush. She tells me this often. I want to try to be honest with each other. A little deeper conversation.

Of course, what I WANT to do and what I NEED to do are two seperate things. You know me. I'm going to try to find the area in between, probably.

AT, good to know you are still checking in on me. Thanks for the comment.

Dr, you a KISS fan, too?

Thanks for the post. I did the begging thing a long time ago. For sure, two years ago. She gave in after a couple of months. This time around, I did it all.

Begging, pleading, going dark for a short while, tried GALing a little, 180's. We seem to get close, then I feel like I screw something up, and then back to square one.

For the short period of time that she was on the sofa(about a month), it was really easy to detach from her. Like I shouldn't have, I asked her to come back to bed and she did. That has been a couple of months ago. We've been there since.

It is definatly different when the two of you are not even sleeping in the same room. WAY different.

I do my acts of love or kindness, whatever you want to call it, with really no expectations of return favors. Only to remind her of what she may someday miss. She has never refused a gift. Never found stuff in the trash. She always accepted gracefully.

We both allow each other to affect the others moods. I was doing really well a while back. Not letting her affect me. Actually she did affect me, but at least I wouldn't show it to her. I gave her as much breathing room as is possible for us still sleeping together. It may not seem like to everyone else, but I had. Now with the recent events, I am changing it up a little. I was trying to keep a friendship with her, after she announced her moving. Felt like the friendship would somehow be a saving salvation. That and going to church on Sundays together.

With her sickness again, I want to accelerate the friendship and slightly pursue. She has said that she has changed her mind on moving out from now(the beginning of summer)to the end of summer. That gives me a couple of months to step things up a bit more.

Like I have nothing left to lose. She was going to move anyway. If she is still with OM, then I WANT her to move out.



Yesterday went pretty well considering Friday. I called when I got off and asked if we needed anything. She said no and that she was going to start on lunch. I asked for some info on our vaccuum for a part for me to pick up, finally. She got it for me, I bought it and headed home to fix the stupid thing and do some work on the yard.

AT home, she was in a cleaning fest again. Moved furniture in living room around, cleaning carpet. Old computer desk outside. Old broken computer outside. Other things. I fix vaccuum and announce that now, everyone has to keep their hand and feet away from the vaccuum, because it was working better than ever.

Got a chuckle from roomie and D11.

I then mowed the lawn, came inside and started putting away clothes that she had washed. Roomie had made lunch but I had declined. D's wanted to go swimming. Roomie totally cleaned out the girls room. I asked what everyone wanted for dinner and roomie said watermelon. She has been wanting watermelon, lately.

I tell her that before we go swimming, we'll stop and get a watermelon and put it in an ice chest for later tonight.

Store, swimming, to store again for more stuff for the week.

Home, dinner. Roomie makes my plate for me. After dinner, D's want to watch thier own movies in seperate rooms, Roomie and I decide to watch "Definatly, maybe" in the living room sitting together on sofa. Of course, she is out after an hour, and I follow suit about 30 minutle later. We are both laying sideways a bit. Her head on one end and her feet off the side. I am laying kind of behind her, my head around her pelvic area, my feet hanging of the end of the sofa.

Feels so nice. Wedged there. End of movie, we both wake up and to bed.

She has not been protecting her purse today, like yesterday. Leaving it out. Open.

She did put next to her side of the bed when we went to bed. Again.

We slept normal last night. Not as much edge clinging.

Last night roomie said that she wanted to make pancakes in the morning. I wake her up and ask if she wanted to MAKE pancakes or if she just WANTED pancakes. She laughs and said she didn't care. I say, "Of course. The easy way out." I didn't want to take over if she felt like making breakfast.

Hard for her to get up, she gets up and tell me to go to church. D6 can't wake up. "Our hair is dirty", she says.

We forgot to take showers last night after swimming.

D11 had already gotten ready so we eat breakfast and D11 and I leave. Special speaker at church. After service, D11 wanted to go to the library.

So here we are. Will head home and see what the day brings.

I feel a brisket calling me to burn it, today. Maybe Fiesta Texas today, too.

Please keep checking on me and commenting people. I certainly do appreciate all the advise.

I will NOT have another conversation like the last one. On the way home last night, light conversation. Almost home, I ask her a question:

"If you could have any kind of pet, what would you have?"
"With all the pets we have now, I don't want ANY pets" she chuckled.
"If we didn't have ANY pets right now?"

Five minute pause. I thought she blew it off.

"I have always wanted a horse" out of nowhere.
"Thats a good choice. Me too."