This is a little of topic but more to do with Abby. I was analyzing Abby at this party yesterday. She is beyond shy. I'm worried about her when she goes to kindergarden in August. She's really going to have a tough time.
Abby's been playing at the neighbors house for a couple years. I hear her talking to her friend and friends sister, but the grandmother told me Abby never says a word to them. In two years!!!
She doesn't talk to any adult other than family....and she doesn't talk to other kids once there is more than 3 at one time. I'm very worried about her future.
Any ideas out there or someone who's child was like this? I'm almost thinking therapy soon.
Hey Abby's Dad, we have a son with a similar pattern. He's the youngest of 4 kids, so we didn't worry as much. He did not say one single word, not "mom", not "no", not "yes", he would point & grunt, & it worked for him. I was about to try speech therapy, & I'd already had his hearing tested. One day I forced him to say please (it took 45 minutes of him crying, getting mad, slamming his fist on the fridge, he'd point, & I'd say, "only if you say please", to get an ice cream sandwich) when he was 3 years old & 2 months. He finally started talking, but I had to force him to use words.
When I tried to put him in pre-school when he was 4, he held onto my leg & cried & cried for 6 months every morning of pre-school. This was soooooooooo strange to me, my other kids jumped out of the car, said bye & ran off to go play. I just sat in the corner of pre-school, & gradually let him move out of my lap around 7 months later. LOL
When we were out in public, he never spoke to a single adult. Cashiers would say how handsome he was, or ask what toy he had, or what type of candy, he would completely ignore them. Not one word.
Kindergarten arrived. I was sure he'd have a mild heart attack when it came time to walk away from me. (teasing sort of)
Anyway, the kindergarten teacher had a welcome day, where the kids came in for 15-20 minutes, then went back home. Once he saw all the cool stuff, he was better. Then the morning of........I'm hoping, praying, crossing my fingers....the teacher had them all line up, blow mom/dad a kiss & walk in. Off he went. I cried all the way to the car. lol
Around Christmas break, the teacher asked me if he talked at home. After talking with her, it turned out that he never raised his hand or spoke to the teacher. He had 4 little girls sitting at his table that talked for him. If he needed help, one of the girls would raise her hand, & tell the teacher L needs help Mrs B. lol On the playground, if he got hurt, one of the girls would run over & tell the teacher, Mrs B, L got hurt. Over Christmas vacation, L & I practiced several times a day to be able to say "good morning Mrs B". The first morning back, we walked up to her, L said it to her, she grinned huge & said, "L, how nice to hear your voice". LOL
Two months later, we got a puppy. L started telling his teacher & the other kids something about the puppy every single day. The dam had broke, & my son was talking to EVERYBODY about the puppy. Total strangers would hear about our puppy.
He's still a bit aloof with friends at times. He's definitely the quietest of all my kids. When he was younger & in the back of the suburban & would talk to me, if I didn't hear him & asked "what did you say" he'd say "nevermind". He's just his own little different person. Oh, & he didn't like his dad, didn't want his dad to touch him, & he didn't speak to his dad, (yes my husband) until he was 5. That was super hard on my H.
But, H started talking L out for ice cream cones about a year ago, & now they're buddies. They play marco polo together in the pool. I love hearing them laugh together.
Hang in there. For a long time, I thought L had turettes, or was high functioning autistic, or had Aspberger's syndrome. I researched all of those, talked to numerous pediatricians, & we coudn't quite diagnose anything.
Today he's just fine. He's a gemini, which might explain some of that. LOL The other kids joke that he needs anger management classes. We never know who will show up, the good twin, or the evil twin. But I love all of him, & I think accepting him & by not pushing him (most of the time) he worked his way through it all.
Abby sounds just fine for what she's going through. I'd expect her to be a bit quiet & withdrawn for a while. Just tell her every single day that you & her mom both love her, that it's not anything she did to cause the D, & that you & her mom just can't live in the same house anymore. Ask her often if she has any questions & tell her she can talk about anything, even if she's mad at you. That it's okay to feel however she wants to feel.
You sound like an amazing dad, she's lucky to have you.
M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months 4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10 I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
