Serenity at last! Part V

[Astimegoeson]

We had wings, beer, some laughs, and some serious relationship talk initiated by her. The relationship talk was a little uncomfortable for me.

Long story short, she wants to reconcile. I don't want to and I'm feeling very guilty about it. Guilty because of this obligation I feel to my S8, guilty because I'm now involved with OW, and guilty because I don't think I love her anymore. The pain and hurt took so long to get over and it zapped any love I had left for her. After her first OM was turned down for parole, she came to me. I hesitated and it wasn't a week later she was back with her first H from 20 + years ago. She is using him, but he doesn't know it yet. She was ready to forget him briefly for a booty call from me. The whole thought of it made me sick at my stomach. Definitely unattractive to me. This Woman is a user and I don’t know if she’s ever going to understand what she did to me or how selfish she was/is. I’ve changed, she has not. Now that gap/disconnect between us is even grater than it was before.

I'll write later when I have more time.